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aren’t? How many other vulvas have these women seen? Airbrushed Playboy pictorials don’t count.
    Georgia O’Keefe, a leading member of the avant garde movement in the 1910s and 1920s, painted giant vulva-like flowers, with layers unfolding in shadows and light. Thinking about the vulva as an O’Keefe image is a very positive way to approach getting to know your own visually. It sounds very touchy-feely to suggest, but it is truly a good idea to take a look at your own vulva to see what’s going on. Expect asymmetrical lips and several shades of color that change in front of your eyes. Don’t fall into the trap of turning your vulva into yet another body part to obsess about negatively. Accept that you are normal and beautiful. There is no one way for a vulva to look.
    Okay, digression over. Back to size variation. The average length of the external clitoris is a quarter of an inch. But the range runs from a few millimeters to an inch or more. Tanika, 24, attended a Safina Salon last year. “My boyfriend told me that I had a really long clit,” she said. “It’s about an inch long. I had no idea that all women didn’t have one my size. Now I realize that my clitoris is an outie, just like a belly button. More of it is external than other women’s. It works for me, and when I hear friends complaining about not being able to have an orgasm during sex, I figure I must be lucky. Because of my outie, I don’t have a problem with that.”
    QUIZ SHOW QUESTION NO. 4: What is the right way to touch a clitoris?
    SHORT ANSWER: Only you would know.
    LONG ANSWER: Women can learn a lot from men about sexual pleasure. Basically, practice makes perfect. They know exactly what they like because they have hands-on experience. Men masturbate a lot. They’ve had years and years of practice. Why shouldn’t women be as intimately aware of their clitorises as men are of their penises? We’d all have more fun. When you know yourself well, you can make sure your partner quickly learns what you like so he can have more fun by making you happy. Your ability to be open and to explore is both an intellectual and emotional choice. You have to want to do it, want to feel more, learn more, and trust more. Why would you let someone else have control of your pleasure? It’s nice if men add to it, but make sure you don’t turn over the driving to someone who’s not in the car.
    Now, let’s get down to brass tacks. Just as there are variations in size, women differ in sensitivity. Some women are so sensitive that any direct contact is too intense and even painful. Other women need hard forearm-busting action to feel their best. See the box “Come On” below for some specific styles.
    QUIZ SHOW QUESTION NO. 5: What happens to the clitoris during orgasm?
    SHORT ANSWER: It spreads love and joy o’er this great land.
    LONG ANSWER: The very long answer, from the first tingle to the final explosion, a detailed moment-by-moment physiological and emotional breakdown, fifteen pages of sheer thrills and chills, can be found in chapter 4, “O Joy.”
    Five Reasons Your Vulva Is a Stranger
As a child, you were probably discouraged from touching or asking about that part of your body by adults.
Chances are, you might have associated the area with danger. Very early on, we’re told to wipe front to back because of the possibility of infection. We hear language about the hymen “breaking” and are told about cramps and blood.
Comparing and talking about their penises is a rite of passage for boys. But girls never brag about their body parts, show them to each other, or talk about them. Somehow, girls get the idea not to mention it, as if showing interest is deviant.
Women and girls don’t look at their own vulva. Men, if they could, would stare at their penises all day long. Women shun the area, finding it unattractive or offensive (although the shock of seeing it does die down).
If you have seen other vulvas, most likely they were airbrushed,