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photo-shopped images from soft-core porn magazines. Those aren’t what real women look like. They’re hairless, the colors have been altered, the shape has been changed, and blemishes have been erased. By comparison, you might think your own parts are abnormal. What’s abnormal is making a photograph of a flesh and blood woman look like a plastic mannequin.

    Come On
    It’s true that everyone is different. We don’t wear the same clothes even though we all have arms, legs, and torsos, and we don’t like to be touched the same way either. It took you years to figure out what you like to wear and you are probably still experimenting with shade and style. Experimenting with how you like to be touched is also ongoing adventure in trial and error. Put in the time and feel fabulous.
    Orgasms are like snowflakes. The variations are endless. I have collected the following clitoral contact techniques from women in Safina Salons. If you have a favorite clitoral caress technique that isn’t listed here, please e-mail me at [email protected] so that I can share the information with women at Salons. When it comes to touching, there are no rules of thumb. Clitoral advice: use lubricant so that you get sensations without the distracting friction, which can interrupt your dreaming mind. See “Lube Review” in chapter 6.
SPINNING.— Have you ever taking a spinning class at the gym? The best part of the class is when you take the tension off the bike and pedal as fast as you can. Around and around, smooth effortless motion. It’s like flying. This is the best metaphor I can think of for the main technique women tell me they love. Use a lot of lubricant and start with big circles that pass over the clitoris as part of spinning around the top half of the vulva. Keep up continuous motion. Let yourself daydream. Slowly tighten the width of the circles towards the clitoris—or whatever part of the vulva wants attention. There’s sensitive erectile tissue everywhere—below the clitoris near the urethra, at the entrance of the vagina—feel around. You’re not limited to direct clitoral stimulation. Besides, that might not feel too good until you’re warmed up. Take a spin around and find out what you prefer during different times of the month and when you’re in different moods.
ELLIPTICALS.— Ellipses or ovals are a favorite of many women who take the multifinger approach and who say that passing by the clitoris and coming back is the way to go. This is a three fingered—or whole hand—rhythmic loop. Start with wide ellipses with a fixed point as an anchor. Use the top of the clitoris as your anchor for a while, and then switch to the bottom side of the clitoris. For how low and wide to go with your ovals, think of the vaginal opening is six o’clock, go to six, then five, then seven. Expand your touches across the whole evening hour range. Try going fast or slow, or fast then slow.
THREE-LEGGED RACE.— Placing your index and ring fingers on the sides of the vagina, use your middle finger directly on or around the clitoris. Leave your wrist to rest on your pubic bone and slide your index and ring fingers up and down or in big circles involving the whole vulva. Your middle finger can either follow the other fingers’ motion directly on or near the clitoris or it can make smaller circles or sliding motions inside the other two fingers. This approach is a little complicated and requires some coordination.
INSIDE AND OUT.— Can be done manually or with the aid of vibrator(s). With the hand: make a perfect C shape with your middle finger and thumb. Insert the middle finger into the vagina to touch the G-spot (see chapter 3 for specific help), and place your thumb on the clitoris. Make circles with your thumb, and press with your middle finger. With a sex aid: put a vibrator just inside the vagina, curved into the G-spot (see chapter 3) and put another one on or near the clitoris (or just get a vibrator that is designed to do