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both at once). Turn both vibrators on at a low speed at the beginning, and increase the speed at needed.
RUB-A-DUB.— Fun in the tub. Put the water on low pressure, just warmer than body temperature. If you have a hand-held showerhead, put it between your legs and see what your clitoris thinks of that. If you don’t have a detachable showerhead, you can get a tube/hose-like gizmo at any hardware store. OR, you can lie down on the floor of the tub and position yourself (legs up on the shower wall) so that the water running out of the facet hits you just right. Something about the light but steady flow of water on or near the clitoris sends some women over the edge and into a whole new state of relaxed and energized. Waterproof vibrators are also fun and can give you something relaxing to do while you wait for your deep conditioner.
GETTING MORE C.— Intercourse is nice. Most women really like it but few have orgasms from it. Why not increase your chances by making sure the clitoris gets some attention during the act? Get on top and get your guy to squeeze his butt, raising his pubic bone. Put a pillow under him as well. Doing so will allow you to rub your clitoris against his pubic bone. Lean forward slightly, and you’ll really feel the difference. Watching you love this will lead to new levels of fun for your guy, rocking his enthusiasm as well as the rest of him. Also, lend a hand (your or his) or add a vibrator to the mix. There’s no reason intercourse should be a hands-free (or vibrator-free) activity.
TO THE LEFT.— Do you find that one side of your clitoris is more intensely pleasurable than the other? Steve and Vera Bodansky, authors of The Extended Massive Orgasm, think so, as do many women I’ve met. According to the Bodanskys, the upper left side of your clitoris (upper as in toward the ceiling) is the most sensitive. Please e-mail me if this is true for you (I have theories about left-handed vs. right-handed women).
THE SQUEEZE.— Make a narrow V with your index and middle fingers and put the narrow part of the V on either side of the clitoris. Then gently tug the vulva up and down towards your stomach and back down again. Progress to squeezing your V of fingers around the clitoris. Now put it all together, tugging and squeezing.
THE FLUTTER.— Make another narrow V with your index and middle fingers. Move the two fingers quickly in the opposite direction like kicking legs. That’s what I mean by “flutter.” Now place the narrow part of the V between the vulva folds so that your fingers are on either side of the clitoris. Flutter, flutter, flutter. Or, if it’s too soon for that, work up to fluttering by squeezing, spinning, or other techniques first.
DELAYED GRATIFICATION.— Holding off to have a bigger, more gratifying release when you finally come is more often done with another person than by masturbation. But you can do it by yourself to see if your orgasms really are more intense if you make yourself wait. There are two big tactics: (1) when you’re about to come, stop what you’re doing, wait for five beats, and then start again; and (2) don’t zero in on the spot that most wants to be touched until you absolutely can’t stand it anymore. Most of the time, however, with masturbation, the idea is to relieve stress quickly, getting rid of tension so you can sleep. But who knows, maybe you’re the best tease of all.
    Five Steps to Making Your Vulva Your Friend
Go to a bookstore and find a book like Feminalia by Joani Blank or Sex for One by Betty Dodson. Take a look at the photos or drawings of other women’s parts. Notice the variations in color, size, and shape and the wide range of normal.
Get out the hand mirror. It sounds corny and it will feel silly, but you’re an adult now. You don’t have to worry that your mother or sister is going to burst into your room and catch you with the mirror between your legs. On a weekend morning, when the light is good, sit Indian-style on the bed