Read Truly Tasteless Jokes One for Free Online Page A

in the back seat of the car, and things are getting pretty hot and heavy. “Put your finger inside me,” she asks, and he's only too happy to oblige.
    “Put another finger inside me,” she orders, moaning in pleasure.
    “Put your whole hand inside me.”
    “Put both hands inside me.”
    “Now clap.”
    “I can't!" the guy protests.”
    “Tight, huh?” she smiles.
    *
    How do you fuck a fat girl?
Roll her in flour and go for the wet spot.
    *
    Two women are sitting on the front stoop, passing the time. “Damnit,” says one to the other, “my husband came home with a dozen roses. I'm gonna have to spend all weekend with my legs in the air.”
    “Why?” asks her friend. “Don't you have a vase?”
    *
    Why do women have two holes?
So that when they're drunk, you can carry them like a six-pack.
    *
    What did the blind man say as he passed the fish market?
“Good morning, girls.”
    *
    What's the difference between garbage and a girl from New Jersey?
Sometimes garbage gets picked up.
    *
    How can you tell if your girlfriend's too fat?
If she sits on your face and you can't hear the stereo.
    *
    What do Picasso and Princess Anne have in common?
Blue periods.
    *
    “Ya got no tits and a tight box,” snarled the guy to his girlfriend.
“Get off my back!" she snapped.
    *
    Why's pubic hair curly?
You'd poke your eye out if it were straight.
    *
    What's the difference between a nymphomaniac and a lover?
A lover stops to eat.
    *
    Why do women slap Polish midgets?
Because they're always telling them how nice their hair smells.
    *
    Why don't they let women swim in the ocean any more?
They can't get the smell out of the fish.
    *
    How can you tell when a Polish woman's not wearing any underwear?
By the dandruff on her shoes.
    *
    What do control-top pantyhose and Brooklyn have in common?
Flatbush.
    *
    Did you hear about the blind gynecologist?
He could read lips.
    *
    “There's a new feminine-hygiene spray out on the market,” confided Sandra to Denise at Denise's Tupperware party. “It's called SSY.”
    “Oh yeah?” said Denise. “How come?”
    “That's what you get when you take the PU out of pussy.”
    *
    What has eighteen legs and two tits?
The Supreme Court.
    *
    A doctor was performing a routine gynecological examination when he happened upon a tea-bag. When he asked his patient about it, she looked up in horror and exclaimed, “Oh my God! Then what did I put in the hot water?”
    *
    There was once a young man who was fixated on the female breast, and he decided to seek professional help. The first test his new psychotherapist performed was one of simple word-association. “Simply say the first word that comes into your mind,” the doctor explained. “Orange.”
    “Breast,” said the young man without hesitation.
    “Plum,” said the doctor.
    “Breast,” said the young man.
    “Grapefruit,” said' the doctor.
    “Breast,” said the young man.
    “Windshield wipers,” said the doctor.
    “Breast,” said the young man.
    “Now just hold on a second,” said the doctor. “Oranges I can see reminding you of breasts. Plums, maybe; grapefruit if you're stretching it. But windshield wipers?”
    “Sure,” said the young man. “First this one, then that one . . .”
    *
    There was a promiscuous young couple making out in the back seat of a car. Temperatures were rising and things were getting pretty intense, and finally the girl gasped, “Oh darling, darling, kiss me where it smells.”
    So he drove her to New Jersey.
    *
    What's the difference between a bowling ball and pussy?
You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.
    *
    Why did God invent booze?
So that fat, ugly girls could get laid, too.
    *
    Why do little Polish girls put fish in their underwear?
So they'll smell like big Polish girls.
    *
    A young couple was making out feverishly on her parents' sofa a few days before their wedding. “Oh baby,'' moaned the groom-to-be, “please let me see your breasts. I just wanna look.” His fiancée blushed and