Read Truly Tasteless Jokes One for Free Online

terrible . . . Nope,that won't do it either.” Finally, “Looks terrible, feels terrific . . . Aha! You're a vagina!”
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    Did you hear why Polish women can't use vibrators?
They chip their teeth.

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    What's the difference between parsley and pussy?
Nobody eats parsley .
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    Did you hear about the new New Wave band called the Toxic Shock Syndrome?
Their new hit's called “Ragtime.”
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    What's green and slimy and smells like Miss Piggy?
Kermit's finger.
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    It was a hot summer day in the ghetto, and a bunch of little kids were sitting around with no money, nowhere to go, nothing to do. Until someone's dad stuck his head out the window, gave some money to his kid, and told them to get lost and have a good time.
    The kid dashed down the block with the others running after him and, much to their astonishment, disappeared into the corner drugstore. After a few minutes he emerged, carrying something in a paper bag. His friends crowded around, demanding to see what he'd bought with the money, and were not at all pleased to see him pull out a box of Tampax.
    “Hey, man,” they groaned, “we wanted to go out and find ourselves a good time with that money. Why'd you go an' buy that shit fo’?”
    “Dat's why I got it,” the boy explained. “It say right here on the box: You can go swimmin', you can go horseback riding . . .”
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    How can you tell a Pole designed the lower half of a woman's anatomy?
Who else would put the shithole so close to the snack bar?
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    You know how these days everyone wants a second opinion? Well, this lady had been going to a psychiatrist for years, and one day she decided she'd had enough of it. “Doctor,” she said, walking into his office, “I've been seeing you every week for five years now. I don't feel any better. I don't feel any worse. What's the story? I want you to level with me: what's wrong with me?”
    “Well,” said the doctor, “I’ll tell you. You're crazy.”
    “Now wait just a minute,” the woman protested. “I want a second opinion.”
    “Okay,” said the doctor. “You're ugly, too.”
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    On the eve of her wedding the bride-to-be confessed to her best friend that—unbeknownst to her fiancé—she was not a virgin. “No problem,'' said the friend. “Go out and buy a nice piece of liver and put it up inside you before the time comes. You'll feel nice and tight, and hell never know the difference.”
    So the bride went ahead with the plan, and on the wedding night the couple went crazy. They fucked on the floor, on the kitchen table, in the bathroom, in the bed. So the bride was truly astonished to wake up the next morning to find her new husband gone, the only trace of him a note on the bedside table. “Dearest,” it read, I love you very much, but I've realized we can't go on like this and can never have a life together. Farewell. P.S. your vagina is in the sink.”
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    Why do tampons have strings?
So you can floss after you eat.
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    What's red and has seven little dents in it?
Snow White's cherry.
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    This guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a bourbon and water. . . and get that douche bag down there whatever she'd like to drink,” motioning toward a young woman sitting at the other end of the bar.
    “Listen, buddy,” says the bartender, “this is a family place, and I’ll thank you not to use that sort of language in here.”
    “Okay, okay,” says the guy, “just get me a bourbon and water and get that douche bag a drink too.”
    “That's a perfectly nice young lady,” sputters the bartender, “and—”
    “I'm getting thirsty,'' interrupts the guy, “and you better hurry up with the douche bag's order.”
    The bartender gives up and moves down the bar, rather shamefacedly asking the woman, “The gentleman at the bar would like to offer you a drink—What’ll you have?”
    “Vinegar and water, thanks,” she replies.
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    Do you know why women have cunts?
So men will talk to them.
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    This guy and girl are making out