Read Truly Tasteless Jokes One for Free Online Page B

protested, but unbuttoned her shirt.
    “Oh honey,” he moaned, “let me kiss them.”
    “Don't you think we should wait till the wedding?” she asked, but it was already too late.
    Pretty soon he was begging her to take off her panties. “I just wanna look, I swear,” he panted.
    “I really think we should wait till the wedding like we said we would,” she said, but was finally persuaded by the fact that he was just going to look.
    Well, she was adamant about not letting him kiss her down there, insisting that was something special they should wait for. But after a good half hour of artful argument, he had his way. Only to stick his head up a moment later and say anxiously, “Baby, you think that'll keep till Sunday?”
    *
    Why did God create women?
Because sheep can't cook.
    *
    What's a perfect 10?
A woman about waist-high with no teeth and a flat head you can rest your drink on.
    *
    What's a Cinderella 10?
A woman who sucks and fucks till midnight and then turns into a pizza and a six-pack.
    *
    Did you hear about the new feminine-hygiene product?
It's called Toxic Shock Absorbers.

Male Anatomy
     
    The newlyweds had never slept together and were most eager to consummate their union. The bride in her eagerness insisted on undressing the groom, but stopped dead upon removing his shoes and socks, finding his toes grossly misshapen.
    “Not to worry,” the groom explained. “A case of toelio when I was a child.”
    The bride proceeded apace, only to stop again with an expression of shock on her face once she had taken off his pants.
    “Nothing but a childhood case of kneesles,” he reassured her.
    Down to the basics, she reached for his jockey shorts. “I know, I know,” she interrupted before her husband could say a word, “nothing but a case of smallcox.”
    *
    What did the elephant say to the naked man?
“How d'you breathe through that thing?”
    *
    Why did God give black men such huge pricks?
Because he was so sorry about what He'd done to their hair.
    *
    What's long and hard and full of semen?
A submarine.
    *
    What did the egg say to the boiling water?
“How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago!”
    *
    What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?
“Stand back! I don't know how big this thing's gonna get!”
    *
    What do you get when you cross a rooster with a peanut-butter sandwich?
A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
    *
    What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl?
A cock that stays up all night.
    *
    A man came into a bar, sat down at the bar for a drink, and noticed that there was a horse in the back of the room with a big pot of money in front of it. “What's that all about?” he asked the bartender.
    “You gotta put a dollar in the pot,” explained the bartender, “and you collect the pot if you can make the horse laugh.”
    The guy went over to the horse, whispered in its ear, and the horse cracked up, fell over, and rolled on the floor in laughter. And the fellow picked up the pot and walked out.
    Five years later the same guy walked into the same bar and saw the same horse at the back with another big pot of money in front of it. “It's not so easy,” said the bartender. “This time you gotta make the horse cry .”
    The guy walked over to the horse, and in a matter of minutes the horse fell to its knees, sobbing as though its heart were breaking. The guy picked up the pot and was on his way out the door when the bartender stopped him.
    “Hey,” he said, “at least tell us how you did it.”
    “Easy,” said the guy. “The first time I told him my prick was bigger than his, and the second time I showed him.”
    *
    The routine practice of circumcision was part of a certain doctor's job, and he found himself reluctant to throw the foreskins away after the operation. So he saved them all up in a jar of formaldehyde. Many years went by, the time came for the doctor to retire from practice, and when cleaning out his office he came across the