kindness by lifting the ban so to speak.
"Boys go wash your hands and get
ready for dinner.
"Okay daddy." They ran to
do his bidding. He came over and touched my forehead, checking for fever I
guess.
"How do you feel?"
"Much better, the ointment and
the nap helped."
"I'll put some more on before
bed, come to dinner."
"Okay."
"Simone...do not under any
circumstances Interact with anyone over the internet no matter who it is, or
who they say they are, it's very dangerous. I know you don't understand but
trust me, there's a reason I live the way I do, there's a reason for my
paranoia as you call it. What might seem like an innocent occurrence can
sometimes become deadly. I took you Simone, I make no apologies for that,
because with one look you captivated me, but had I been of a different mind,
had I been a monster, how do you think this would've turned out?
I'm not going to apologize for
thrashing you, you know I won't, and if you put yourself in that kind of danger
again I will do the same, you know this too, do you understand?"
"Yes." My voice was small
and childlike.
"Any questions?"
"Uhm...." I bit my tongue,
how do I say this without getting myself in deeper shit?
Roderick in no way mistreats me,
neither is he abusive, in fact he's far from it, but when he gets pissed or
more to the point, scared, he can lose his shit. I should know I've got the ass
whippings to prove it. So how do I tell him how I feel without turning this
into a major issue?
"Simone?"
"Can we talk about it after we
put the boys to bed?"
He looked at me for a long minute
before nodding his assent.
"Fine, let's go eat."
"What did you make?"
"Your favorite of course."
"Whew, vegetable lasagna, thank
you daddy."
I got a hug and kiss before we headed
out to get the boys.
Dinner was boisterous fun, Roderick
and I like to interact with the kids while we eat, in an appropriate manner of
course, there was no chewing and talking at the same time, but conversation is
plentiful with two four-year-olds who were full of stories and a million and
one questions about everything under the sun. There was lots of 'mommy guess
what' and daddy did you know?'
Roderick was really great with them I
liked to watch him, his patience and understanding so completely different from
my father's.
I bathed the boys and got them ready
for bed while Roderick took his shower. I was in bed under the covers by the
time he was finished. It got dark early up here this time of year, by seven it
would be pitch black, we would either watch TV or read but I knew we needed to
have this conversation so I left my book sitting on the nightstand.
"You ready to talk little
girl?"
"Yes daddy."
"Go ahead."
I fidgeted a little because although
Roderick has always maintained that we could discuss anything I've never really
questioned his authority before.
"Uhm...it's just that...I didn't
deliberately go looking for that Sam guy...."
"Is this the first time some guy
tried to talk to you on there?"
"Uh...." Shit, I knew I
should've left well enough alone.
"No....." My voice was
barely above a whisper.
"And how did you handle it the
last time?"
"I just ignored it."
"And did he stop?"
"Eventually yes."
"This group you're in, do you
know anyone there personally have you ever met any of
them?"
"Of course not."
"How do you know they are who
they say they are?"
I shrugged my shoulders; this is not
going at all the way I expected it to.
"Do you remember about ten years
ago? You might've been too young to remember but it made international news,
there was a young girl that went missing. Her family begged and pleaded for
weeks, the media was all over the story because the girl came from a very
influential family."
I did not have a good feeling about
this. I wanted to stop him before he went any further but that train had
already left the station and I just knew he was about to tell me something
horrible.
"The police, the FBI, every
possible government agency was called in,