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of ostriches who were slowly circling each other about fifty yards away. “It’s Regis and Kathie Lee.”
    I burst into laughter. “You’re kidding.”
    Maggie turned to me with a smile. “They’re about to mate. You’ll be able to see the way it’s supposed to be done. We have Rush on video.”
    â€œOn video?” Benny repeated.
    Sara turned to him and nodded triumphantly. “It’ll be Rachel’s best trial exhibit. The jury will go crazy when they see it.”
    My God , I thought, trying to imagine how to present this case to a jury.
    Another booming roar.
    â€œCome on,” Maggie said. “We can get a little closer.”
    As we approached, one of the ostriches—presumably Regis—seemed to kick his mating dance into high gear. Standing in front of Kathie Lee, he began shimmying his shoulders like some massive go-go dancer on speed. He dropped to his hocks and fanned his wings rapidly. Another bellow, and then he scrambled back to his feet and started rocking forward as if he were dahvening in synagogue.
    â€œThis is foreplay?” Benny mumbled.
    Apparently so. Kathie Lee had been watching Regis impassively—almost disdainfully—through the early phase of his fan dance, but now she was fluttering her own wings and batting her eyelashes. Apparently, she was getting in the mood. Suddenly she spun away from Regis and dropped to the ground, her head extended, her rump slightly raised. Regis moved in quickly.
    I felt uncomfortable watching, but Regis was oblivious to his audience, totally caught up in his act. Fifteen seconds, a grunt, and curtains. Regis stood, stretched his neck, and sauntered off without a glance back.
    Fifteen seconds, a grunt, and curtains , I thought, feeling a stab of solidarity as I watched Kathie Lee stagger to her feet in the dust.
    ***
    You see that thing on Regis?”
    â€œYes, Benny, I saw it.”
    â€œPeculiar-looking, wasn’t it?”
    We were heading east on Highway 70, the sun setting behind us.
    I looked over and shrugged. “No offense, Benny, but they’re all kind of peculiar-looking.”
    â€œMaybe, but did you see the grooves on that Johnson? What the hell’s that all about? It looked like a goddamn NASA docking device.”
    â€œProbably the same design principle is at work.”
    â€œDamn, I’m starving.” Benny was peering out the window at the restaurant billboards. “What say we go put on the feedbag, eh?”
    I checked my watch and shook my head. “I can’t. I have to be at the rabbi’s house in a half hour. I’ve barely got enough time to drop you off.”
    â€œThe rabbi again? Give me a break.”
    I looked over at him and sighed. “I made a promise.”
    â€œPromise,” he snorted. “Jonathan owes you big time.”
    â€œIt’s not about owing, Benny. He’s Orthodox. It’s a big part of his life.”
    â€œSo? You’re Reform. What’s that? Chopped liver?”
    â€œHe was angry with me, Benny. I can understand.”
    â€œUnderstand what? Jonathan’s a good guy and all, but he’s got some chutzpah giving you grief over being Reform. Give me a break. My grandfather was Orthodox. It’s a wacko throwback cult from the Dark Ages.”
    â€œNo it’s not. Look, I promised him I’d give this a try.”
    â€œYeah, yeah. What’s tonight’s topic?”
    â€œI’m not sure,” I lied.
    â€œSpeaking of which, I got a topic for the rebbe.”
    â€œOh?” I gave him a look. “Not another query about the status of your job application for lifeguard at the mikvah ?”
    â€œVery funny. I’m talking a topic for the ages.”
    â€œReally?”
    â€œI’m talking one of the haunting mysteries of Jewish law.”
    I rolled my eyes. “Let’s hear it.”
    â€œAsk that learned scholar tonight to explain the origins of the