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feeling of panic subsided, and I could feel
myself growing calmer.
    “Okay, you can turn around,” I said.
    He turned around and smiled, putting his arms
around me.
    “Looks good,” he said, and we both laughed.
Given our height and size differences, his clothes definitely hung
on me, and I had to hold the shorts together to keep them up.
    “Are you ready to go back out?” he asked.
    “Not just yet. Ben, I’m so sorry about last
night. Things just haven’t been normal lately,” I said, wanting to
make amends.
    “And?” he prompted.
    “And I didn’t mean to hurt your
feelings.”
    “And?”
    “Okay, and I love you.”
    “Now, was that so hard?” he asked, squeezing
my arm.
    I started to feel a little better. I began to
have a strong suspicion, though, that his responsiveness to Angela
was more to send me a message than to encourage her. I wondered if
she knew that.
    He pulled one of my wet curls and smiled down
at me.
    We left the locker room, where Annie and Zack
stood waiting for us. Everyone else had already disappeared except
for Angela, who still sat in the bleachers. She smirked at me as I
came out.
    “Are you okay?” Annie asked, hugging me to
her.
    “Yeah,” I said, starting to feel really
embarrassed. I could feel the blush creep into my cheeks.
    “Zack and a couple of the guys wanted to go
fishing,” Ben said. “Will you be okay?”
    “Sure,” I said.
    “Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of her,”
Annie said.
    “We won’t be too long,” Ben said, flashing me
one of his best smiles.
    “I’m taking her to the mall,” Annie answered.
Shopping was her remedy for everything. I didn’t feel much like
going, but I didn’t want to go home, either.
    “I think I need to dry my hair first,” I
said, laughing a little. I was glad I didn’t feel so anxious. My
eyes darted to the pool, and I couldn’t help but wonder what lurked
beneath the surface of the water, now serene. My feet must have led
me there because I was to the edge and almost over again before I
knew it, almost as though I was led beyond my control.
    “Whoa, there,” Ben said, taking me by the
arms and pulling me back. Zack, Annie, and he cast worried glances
at each other. Ben took a firm grasp of waist to steer me away from
the side.
    “Let’s meet up for dinner,” Ben suggested
casually, carefully avoiding what almost happened again.
    “What time?” I said hesitantly.
    “I’ll pick you up around six. I don’t think
the Saratoga would make it,” he said, laughing a little
nervously.
    “Ha-ha. Very funny,” I answered, glad that he
was teasing me in a familiar way after the trauma I’d had.
    Just before we left the pool, he pulled me
close and kissed me, almost directly in front of Angela’s line of
sight. I could feel her fume, her eyes burning into my back.
    Take that, I thought smugly.
    Later that afternoon, Annie and I drove to
the mall in Daytona. I knew she wanted to distract me, and after
seeing Angela, I decided I was long overdue for some decent
clothes. Since I wasn’t making them anymore, I needed to buy them.
And I didn’t want to go home and contemplate what had happened to
me, an eerily similar disaster to the one in my dream.
    Shopping in general bored me, but Annie could
do it for hours. I was glad she was with me; it helped take my mind
off of the humiliating and frightening morning. She didn’t once
mention that I almost drowned.
    “So I saw Ben make out with you right in
front of Angela,” she said as we started out of DeLand. Annie loved
gossip almost as much as clothes.
    “Yeah,” I replied. I usually didn’t like
public displays of affection, but I was grateful today that he’d
shown how he felt about me in front of her.
    “You’re so lucky,” Annie mused. I was a
little irritated at this. I knew he was gorgeous and, well, I
wasn’t, but still.
    “Maybe Ben sees something deeper than just
looks,” I retorted, a little too sharply.
    Annie looked hurt. “No, I didn’t