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doing more harm than good. Habits like drinking and smoking may feel relaxing, but they actually make your body work harder to maintain its health. Fortunately, there are many healthy habits you can develop to help you reduce and eliminate stress. It is definitely worth your while to explore the options.
Quiet Your Mind
    Because your body and mind are so closely connected, quieting your mind can have a profound effect on your body. There are many ways to achieve this, so some exploration may be necessary to find the practices that work the best for you. Meditation is one very effective way to quiet the mind. Meditation relaxes the mind and nervous system through stillness. In meditation, you learn to stay in the present moment with your present experience. When done successfully, mediation induces a deeply relaxed state of being. This can carry over into sexual enjoyment by way of an increased ability to stay focused on your subtle bodily sensations, as well as the present moment interactions you have with your lover.
Sensory Awareness
    Sensory awareness practice is a particular type of meditation. In sensory awareness, the mind is focused on all the subtle sensations your body can perceive by being in a relaxed state. To try it, simply lie down somewhere quiet and open all your senses — sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. It requires getting out of your thoughts and into your body. It requires slowing down, quieting down, and listening acutely but in a relaxed manner. Closing your eyes can help you pay better attention to your other senses.
    EXERCISE: Lie down on your back in a warm room. Take several deep breaths and allow your body to relax and melt into the floor. Bring your awareness into your whole body. Become aware of where your body touches the ground. Let yourself feel your clothing touching your skin. Notice areas in your body that are particularly relaxed or tight, warm or cold.
    Learning to focus on your physical sensations through a sensory awareness practice can have a profound effect on your sexuality. The more you are able to dial into the subtleties of your experience, the more pleasure you will experience in your sexual encounters.
Yoga
    Hatha yoga or any similar stretching practice can also provide multiple benefits to your general health and your enjoyment of sex. Stretching muscles helps them relax and maintains flexibility. If sitting still in meditation or sensory awareness is not relaxing for you, try stretching or yoga instead. You can either quiet your mind to relax your body or relax your body to quiet your mind.
Freeing Your Breath
    Have you ever paid attention to your breathing? The breath has a tremendous effect on your body-mind. That's why meditation, yoga, and almost every other relaxation practice involves some amount of focus on your breathing. If your breathing is shallow, it is possible that you are experiencing contraction or tightness in your chest and not getting enough oxygen to optimally support your body and your brain. You may have been breathing this way for so long that you don't notice anything different. Bringing more awareness to your breath and then focusing on deepening and expanding it will help oxygenate your blood, which will in turn lift your mood and improve the functioning of your whole body. Also, the deeper your breath, the greater your capacity for orgasm. Focusing on the breath is an important aspect of some of the enhanced orgasm practices that are discussed in Chapter 14.
Soothe Your Body
    Your body sometimes needs help to relax. When you just can't or don't want to do it yourself, you can try using alternative healing practices such as massage, chiropractic techniques, and acupuncture. Each of these can contribute to the well-being of the body-mind and enhance your ability to relax into sex. When your body feels good, your energy is more likely to be open and receptive to erotic pleasure. These healing practices work with your energy in a way that invites