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the testicles or groin area afterward. The pain is usually a reflection of the tension produced through the buildup and repression of energy.
    If, and when, a man does reach a point where he needs to ejaculate, it’s suggested that he simply allow it to happen right then and there. Better not to interfere with the direction of the flow. Tell your woman out loud in words that you are coming, look into her eyes, remain present to the situation, and enjoy!
    If you wish to postpone or avoid ejaculation, it’s advisable to steer clear of too much stimulation and excitement right from the start of the lovemaking. Instead, become more slow and sensitive through relaxation and awareness. A cool approach can empower you to make love for hours.
    Pain that Follows Relaxed Sex
    After relaxed sex, surprisingly enough, there can also be pain in the penis, the testicles, the groin area, or the lower abdomen. When the sexual atmosphere has been one of relaxation, the pains are informing us that previously held accumulated tensions are leaving the tissues. These can be called “healing pains.” If this should happen to you, accept the pain and do not be unduly concerned; the pain will pass in time. Movements such as gently shaking the body, including the pelvis, for ten minutes or more will help to disperse the emerging tensions. Often allowing simple tears of vulnerability will dissolve the pain. It is also recommended that masturbation not be used as a way to relieve the tension or pain. The body is healing and regenerating itself through the sexual relaxation. As layers of emotion and physical tensions rise to the surface and dissolve, body sensitivity and capacity for pleasure return.
    Safety Concerns Regarding Nonejaculation
    We have heard from a few men that they have been advised by their medical doctors to ejaculate regularly in order to “flush out the pipes,” like a bit of do-it-yourself plumbing.
    Personal experience has proved that it is possible to make love frequently for years on end without the need for ejaculation. It is not as though a man swells up into a balloon that eventually pops because of his unreleased semen! There is absolutely no physical danger for a man to go without ejaculation indefinitely. Sometimes there may be spontaneous emissions during the night, but these tend to happen more and more rarely as time passes. They occur frequently during puberty and adolescence, and the reason is thought to be sexual fantasies. These emissions have nothing to do with not having had an ejaculation for a long time or the body getting rid of old sperm.
    Reserve Ejaculation for Conception
    A man can, if he so wishes, reserve his ejaculation for procreation alone. There is no hard-and-fast rule, but a man should know that when he and his partner want to conceive, he can consciously decide to ejaculate at the time the woman is ovulating. (The time of ovulation can be determined through a number of different methods, such as changes in body temperature and vaginal mucus.) Conscious ejaculation will make conception an equally conscious event, rather than the hit-or-miss accident it often is. When a man ejaculates he can plant his seed along with an intention or vision for a conscious conception.
    Women’s Identification with Male Ejaculation
    Men need to be aware that women often identify with their man’s orgasm/ejaculation. In these few moments a woman feels that the man gives himself to her, and for woman this is somehow affirming. The irony is that she actually triggers the man into postejaculation syndromes, unwittingly disempowering him (and thereby herself) as the flow of intimacy and love gets interrupted or evaporates. Sometimes these breaks in the connection seem so normal that we would not immediately associate them with sex. We think this is who we are and how we are. However, a man who practices containment of energy will begin to experience himself as a completely different person in his daily life. Men report