Read Not Looking for Love: Episode 3 for Free Online

aborted your child without telling you. Lied to you about where she was, didn't return your calls. And when does she call you? When she needs something, that's when. What don't you know, Scott?"
    Dead silence follows her words, until I'm sure he'll come over any second to kick me out. I'm holding my breath waiting.
    "I treated her like shit too," Scott finally says. But he didn't, not really, and I can't believe he still feels bad about it. "Fucking autumn, seriously."
    "Well, you're just asking for it this time," Janine says. "I don't know what you expect from this girl. She'll just do the same she always does, and walk away once she feels better. If she wanted you to help her, she would have called you before, not after."
    "Would she?"
    "Duh. And you know David would tell you the same thing too, right? Only you'd listen to him, and you never listen to me."
    I can feel the tension rise between them from all the way in the kitchen.
    "Honestly, Janine, I don't know what David would say about this," Scott says, his voice hard and distant. "I can't even remember what his voice sounded like anymore."
    "Well, I still know what he'd say, and he'd tell you to drop her and cut your losses," Janine says, her voice cracking like she's about to cry. "I'm going now."
    There's a rustling and the clicking of heels against wood, and I can see their reflection in the window now.  
    "Don't worry so much, Janine. I'm fine," Scott says. "You know Marissa called me last week, right?"
    "No. Why?"
    "She wanted to get together."
    "And did you?" Janine's got her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide.
    "No, I was having too good a time in the city."
    "Yeah, where were you all week?" she asks. "You might have told me you'd be back tonight, so I needn't bothered to come here and feed your cat."
    "With Mike mostly, then I ran into that Swedish exchange student on Friday night," Scott says, and I can see his wide smile clearly in the reflection.  
    "Wasn't she only here for the semester?"
    "No, I was wrong about that. But then again, we never actually talked much," Scott says. I'm picturing pulling that blonde Swedish girl's hair until she's lying on the ground. I might even kick her while she's down. "So you really shouldn't worry about me at all."
    "Well, you just let me know how lots of meaningless sex works out for you. It did absolutely nothing for me except ruin my reputation," Janine says, buttoning up her jean jacket.  
    "It'll blow over, don't worry about it. At least no babies came from it in your case."
    "Thank God for that!" She leans over and hugs him, then the front door clicks shut and she's gone.  
    Scott's still staring at my back from the kitchen. Before the mention of meaningless sex, I couldn't wait for Janine to leave so I could tell him all the things I couldn't say in the car. Now, I just want to disappear through the floor of this cold, sad, little apartment.  
    "You feeling any better now?" he asks, like he knows I'm awake, but doesn't really care how I feel. Then I realize that he must have seen my wide open eyes in the reflection in the window all along, just as I could see him. I close my eyes and take long, deep breaths, pretending to be asleep. A few moments later the door clicks shut for the second time. Cold and silence press on me from all sides.  
    I should get up and leave. I have the keys of my house with me, I could take a cab there. Only I've tried to leave before and never got very far, always came right back. And if it really was just meaningless sex, he wouldn't drive all the way to Connecticut to get me, wouldn't hold me while I cried, wouldn't tell Janine to shut up when she told him to throw me out, wouldn't say things to make me jealous. The apartment may be chilly now, but the bed is warm and I could just lie here for a very long time.

    A horn blaring in the street wakes me the next morning. My stomach feels like someone's been jumping up and down on it.
    Scott stirs beside me. I never noticed him come