How To Make People Like You In 90 Seconds Or Less

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Book: Read How To Make People Like You In 90 Seconds Or Less for Free Online
Authors: Nicholas Boothman
Tags: Self-Help, Non-Fiction, Business
well-being of its center of feeling,
     mood and emotionyour heart.
    Volumes have been written about body language, but when all is said and done, this form of communication can be broken down into two rather broad categories: open and closed. Open body language
     exposes the heart, while closed body language defends or protects it. In establishing
     rapport, we can also think in terms of inclusive gestures and noninclusive gestures.

How to Make People Like You In 90 Seconds Or Less

Open Body Language
    Open body language exposes your heart and body (within limits of decency, of course!) and
     signals cooperation, agreement, willingness, enthusiasm and approval. These gestures are
     meant to be seen. They show trust. They say “YES!”
    Your body doesn't know how to lie. Unconsciously, with no directions from you, it
     transmits your thoughts and feelings in a language of its own to the bodies of other
     people, and these bodies understand the language perfectly. Any contradictions in the
     language can interrupt the development of rapport.
    In his classic work How to Read a Person like a Book, Gerard I. Nierenberg explains the value of open gestures. These gestures include open
     hands and uncrossed arms as well as the occasional subtle movement toward the other person
     that says “I am with you” and shows acceptance: an open coat or jacket, for example, both literally and symbolically exposes the heart. When used together, such gestures say
     “Things are going well.”
    Positive, open-body gestures reach out to others. These gestures are generally slow and
     deliberate. When an open person makes contact with the heart of another person, a strong
     connection is made and trust becomes possible. (You know the feeling of a good hug? Or a
     heart-to-heart talk?)
    When you meet someone new, immediately point your heart warmly at that person's
     heart. There is magic in this.
    Other common open gestures include standing with your hands on your hips and your feet
     apart, a stance that shows enthusiasm and willingness, and moving forward in your chair
     (if accompanied by other open gestures). Leaning forward shows interest, and uncrossing
     your arms or legs signals you are open to suggestions.

How to Make People Like You In 90 Seconds Or Less

Closed Body Language
    Defensiveness is shown through gestures that protect the body and defend the heart. These
     gestures suggest resistance, frustration, anxiety, stubbornness, nervousness and
     impatience. They are negative gestures, and they say “NO!”
    Crossed arms are common to all manifestations of defensiveness. They hide the heart and
     defend one's feelings. Although you can also be relatively relaxed with your arms crossed,
     the difference between a relaxed crossed-arm position and a defensive crossedarm
     position is in the accompanying gestures. For example, are your arms loosely folded or
     pressed close to your body? Are your hands clenched or open?
    Defensive gestures are often fast and evasive and beyond your conscious control. Your body
     has a mind of its own and is ruled by your attitude, useful or useless. In addition to
     crossed arms, the most obvious defensive gestures are avoiding eye contact with the other
     person and turning your body sideways. Fidgeting is another negative gesture, which can
     also show impatience or nervousness.
    Right away, you can see the difference between a person who faces you squarely and
     honestly, and someone who stands sideways to you with crossed arms and hunched shoulders
     while the two of you talk. In the first instance, the person is openly pointing his heart
     directly at your heart. In the second, the posture is defensive; the person is pointing
     his heart away from you and protecting it. One is being open with you, the other closed.
     Being in the presence of these two postures produces very different feelings.

How to Make People Like You In 90 Seconds Or Less

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