But Michael had held her hand as they watched their little girl kick her feet wildly before soothing herself with her own thumb placed firmly between her lips. They had chatted excitedly with the other new parents and new grandparents, and when she woke up in her room later, the nurses had wheeled her little girl right into the room next to her. She remembered laying on her side, gazing over at this tiny, amazing creature, and feeling the overwhelming sense of motherly love wash over her.
She closed her eyes now, for the first time in what felt like days, holding on to that moment. Not the first time she saw her, no. That moment had been fleeting, and too confusing as the nurses rushed her away to check her vitals and clean her up. No, it had been that moment in that tiny hospital room, where she knew she could stare into those eyes forever. Where she vowed to do everything she could to protect her little girl, to keep her safe, to ensure she too would become a mother one day and would share a moment as glorious as the one that had taken place in that very same hospital all those years ago.
She felt a firm hand on her shoulder. Opening her eyes she turned around to see Michael standing there. She could tell by the look on his face that the news they had been waiting all night for wasn’t the news they’d been hoping to hear. She felt her knees buckle, but Michael grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to his chest, barely keeping her from hitting the floor. She heard the wails her body emitted but couldn’t control them, and quite frankly didn’t care to. The happy couples and families all gathered around the glass turned to look at them – to stare at them really. Michael didn’t shush her, or try to calm her – after 30 years of marriage he had learned this approach would only upset her further. The only thing he could do now is hold her, and try to hold himself together. Slowly he led her away from the nursery window – and the prying eyes – to a row of nearby chairs. He lowered her into one of the seats, and sat down beside her. She just stared at the floor and continued to sob. He sat there stoically, arm around her, waiting for her to come up for air. Tears had stopped falling from her eyes, but her chest continued to heave as she inhaled sharp, short breaths. He squeezed her shoulder tightly, and she turned to look at him. Her bright blue eyes looked empty. Even though she was looking right at him, he wasn’t quite sure she could see him.
“W-w-where’s Linus?” she stammered, turning her gaze back to the floor. She was rubbing the palms of her hands against her thighs rhythmically.
“Don’t you worry about that now, honey,” he replied, taking her hands in his. Her jittering like that always put him on edge. He could never exactly put his finger on what it was about – and now was obviously not the time to try and figure it out. She looked at him quizzically, but said nothing.
If Michael told her not to worry, she didn’t.
Chapter 10
What Michael neglected to tell her, however, was that Linus had abandoned their plan to head to scour the halls to find something to eat or drink. After seeing his newborn daughter – so small and fragile, and unable to be held – he became even more hysterical. That was more or less the reason Michael suggested they take a walk. His daughter was out of surgery, but where was his wife? Linus wouldn’t stop wringing his hands. He wouldn’t lift his gaze from the floor.
Instead of following Michael down the hallway that led to a cluster of vending machines, he stormed over to the nurses’ station and demanded an update on his wife. It was the first time Michael had seen him exhibit even the least bit of assertiveness. It made him almost like Linus for a minute. Staggering back over to where Michael was standing, still wringing his hands, Linus looked a bit more composed; a bit less manic.
“She said the doctor should
She closed her eyes now, for the first time in what felt like days, holding on to that moment. Not the first time she saw her, no. That moment had been fleeting, and too confusing as the nurses rushed her away to check her vitals and clean her up. No, it had been that moment in that tiny hospital room, where she knew she could stare into those eyes forever. Where she vowed to do everything she could to protect her little girl, to keep her safe, to ensure she too would become a mother one day and would share a moment as glorious as the one that had taken place in that very same hospital all those years ago.
She felt a firm hand on her shoulder. Opening her eyes she turned around to see Michael standing there. She could tell by the look on his face that the news they had been waiting all night for wasn’t the news they’d been hoping to hear. She felt her knees buckle, but Michael grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to his chest, barely keeping her from hitting the floor. She heard the wails her body emitted but couldn’t control them, and quite frankly didn’t care to. The happy couples and families all gathered around the glass turned to look at them – to stare at them really. Michael didn’t shush her, or try to calm her – after 30 years of marriage he had learned this approach would only upset her further. The only thing he could do now is hold her, and try to hold himself together. Slowly he led her away from the nursery window – and the prying eyes – to a row of nearby chairs. He lowered her into one of the seats, and sat down beside her. She just stared at the floor and continued to sob. He sat there stoically, arm around her, waiting for her to come up for air. Tears had stopped falling from her eyes, but her chest continued to heave as she inhaled sharp, short breaths. He squeezed her shoulder tightly, and she turned to look at him. Her bright blue eyes looked empty. Even though she was looking right at him, he wasn’t quite sure she could see him.
“W-w-where’s Linus?” she stammered, turning her gaze back to the floor. She was rubbing the palms of her hands against her thighs rhythmically.
“Don’t you worry about that now, honey,” he replied, taking her hands in his. Her jittering like that always put him on edge. He could never exactly put his finger on what it was about – and now was obviously not the time to try and figure it out. She looked at him quizzically, but said nothing.
If Michael told her not to worry, she didn’t.
Chapter 10
What Michael neglected to tell her, however, was that Linus had abandoned their plan to head to scour the halls to find something to eat or drink. After seeing his newborn daughter – so small and fragile, and unable to be held – he became even more hysterical. That was more or less the reason Michael suggested they take a walk. His daughter was out of surgery, but where was his wife? Linus wouldn’t stop wringing his hands. He wouldn’t lift his gaze from the floor.
Instead of following Michael down the hallway that led to a cluster of vending machines, he stormed over to the nurses’ station and demanded an update on his wife. It was the first time Michael had seen him exhibit even the least bit of assertiveness. It made him almost like Linus for a minute. Staggering back over to where Michael was standing, still wringing his hands, Linus looked a bit more composed; a bit less manic.
“She said the doctor should
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