Geezer Paradise

Read Geezer Paradise for Free Online

Book: Read Geezer Paradise for Free Online
Authors: Robert Gannon
Tags: Humor, Fiction, Suspense, Mystery, Retail
that guy giving Eduardo's pretty grandmother a hard time made my blood boil.  When we got into the Wrangler Willey was smirking and said, "I figured you wouldn't need much convincing to ride to Sofie's rescue, judging by the way you looked at her the other day."
                  "No woman should have to put up with that kind of abuse," I said.  "By the way, just what kind of abuse is Eduardo talking about?"
                  "Eduardo says Darryl eats constantly and keeps Sofie cooking for him all day.  That isn't bad enough, but then he shouts orders at her to hurry up and get his food, and he acts like she's his personal servant.  He calls her, 'Hey you.'  The guy sounds like a real jackass."             
                  "Sofie's not in any danger from this guy, is she?"                                          
                  "The only one in danger is Darryl.  Eduardo is afraid Sofie will lose it and shoot the bugger."
                  As we drove up 19A to Tarpon Springs I noticed the roads weren't crowded.  That was one of the good things about the Florida summers, the tourists go home.  We pulled into Sofie's driveway and looked the house over. It was a red brick cottage sitting right on the water.  There was a deck on the back with a small dock for boats.
                  "Nice setup she's got here," Willey said.  "I'd love to live on the water."
                  "Everybody wants to live on the water," I said.  "Let's get in and rescue Sofie."  We walked to the front door and rang the bell.  When Sofie opened the door she looked a little frazzled but she looked even prettier than I remembered.  She came outside and closed the door behind her so we could talk in private.  I guessed Darryl was nearby.
                  "Oh, Barney and Willey, thank you for coming," she said.  "I don't think I can put up with much more from this guy.  He's scheduled to testify against organized crime next week but I don't think I can last that long.  I'm on the verge of killing him."
                  So Sofie didn't run a half-way house, it was a safe-house.  No wonder she carried a gun. "Please come in," she said, and we trouped into the kitchen. Darryl, a very round man, sat at the table stuffing his face. 
                  "What's dis?" Darryl demanded of Sofie.  "Don't ya know better than ta bring strangers inna da house.  Did ya frisk em for guns?"
                  I could see Sofie's jaw getting tight, and she seemed to be reaching into her apron pocket where the telltale bulge of a gun resided.  I knew just how to keep Darrell in line--he was a man who lived to eat.  I stepped in front of Sofie and said, "Hello, Darryl.  Good to see you."
                  "Well it ain't good ta see you two bums, get outta here."  Sofie tried to step past me but I held her back by putting out my arm out. 
                  "That won't be possible, Darryl," I said.  "Willey and I were sent here to give Sofie a couple of weeks off.  Seems like somebody has been giving her a bad time.  Until she returns we'll be protecting you."
                  Darryl's jaw dropped.  "Kin you guys cook?"
                  "No, but I saw Willey here boil water once.  He was pretty proud of that."  I heard Willey snort behind me. 
                  Darryl started to sweat. "You can't do dat ta me!" he protested.  "How am I gonna' live if none a you guys kin cook?"
                  Then I threw Darryl the sucker punch.  "You'll have to eat what Willey and I will eat."
                  "You gonna' get take-out from a restaurant?" Darryl asked, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.
                  "No, that’s too expensive.  You know everybody's cutting back these days.  We'll just

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