Read Five Days for Free Online Page A

me with care.
    â€˜I’m sure he does, in his own way,’ she said. ‘But let me ask you something, Laura – do you always feel the need to make things better?’
    â€˜Is there anything wrong with that?’
    â€˜It can be rather disheartening, can’t it? I mean, other people’s happiness – it’s ultimately their own concern, isn’t it? And that also includes your children at this point in their lives. You can’t blame yourself for Ben’s problems.’
    â€˜Easier said than done.’
    Half an hour later I met Ben – as arranged by Dr Allen – at a café off campus. He’d lost a noticeable amount of weight – and he was already skinny before all this. His face still looked a little pasty. He let me hug him, but didn’t respond in kind. He had difficulty looking at me directly during the half-hour that we spoke. At first, when I told him how well he looked, he said: ‘Mom, you’ve never lied to me about anything . . . so please don’t start now.’ He then proceeded to ask me how things were going at home, whether his sister was ‘still hung up on Mr Jock Republican’ (I was very reassured to hear his natural acerbity hadn’t vanished), and how he’d actually started a new canvas that was not a collage.
    â€˜It’s a painting this time. So it doesn’t contain body parts or try to replicate a car crash with me behind the wheel of a Porsche.’
    â€˜You mean, like James Dean?’ I asked.
    â€˜My mother the Culturally Aware Technologist.’
    â€˜Not that culturally aware.’
    â€˜You just read more than anyone I know.’
    â€˜That’s more of a hobby . . .’
    â€˜You should try and write, Mom.’
    â€˜What would I have to write about? I’ve not done anything that interesting or important with my life . . . outside of raising you and Sally.’
    â€˜You were under no obligation to add that.’
    â€˜But it’s the truth.’
    Ben reached out briefly to touch my arm.
    â€˜Thank you.’
    â€˜You look a little tired,’ I said.
    â€˜I’m finally starting to sleep again without pills. But I’m still on other medication. Pills to keep me happy.’
    â€˜There’s no real pill for that,’ I said.
    â€˜Isn’t that the truth,’ Ben said with just the barest hint of a smile.
    â€˜But you seem stronger . . .’
    â€˜You’re being far too nice again.’
    â€˜Would you rather me be far too mean?’
    Another half-smile from Ben.
    â€˜You’d never pull it off,’ he said.
    â€˜It’s good to see you OK, Ben.’
    â€˜I’m sorry if I freaked you out.’
    â€˜You didn’t freak me out.’
    â€˜Yeah, right . . .’
    â€˜OK, I was very concerned. So was your father . . .’
    â€˜But you’re here today.’
    â€˜Your dad’s got a job interview this morning.’
    â€˜That’s good news. Because it’s all such bad news with him now.’
    â€˜That’s a little extreme, Ben. He loves you very much.’
    â€˜But we’re not friends.’
    â€˜That will change.’
    â€˜Yeah, right.’
    â€˜At least
we’re
friends,’ I said.
    Ben nodded.
    â€˜You’re sure you’re not angry at me?’ he asked.
    â€˜I’m never angry at you.’
    Upon returning home that evening from Farmington I wrote my son a text, informing him that, though I was always here for him day and night, I still wouldn’t crowd him.
    Take your time, know that I am always at the end of the phone – and can be with you in ninety minutes if you need me.
    Since then, I’ve had at least two texts a day from Ben – often funny/ruminative ( Do you think the only real broken hearts are in country and western songs? ), sometimes troubled ( Really bad night’s sleep. Session with Dr Allen today ),