soaker!â
âItâs a tavern,â the man explained thickly, as if he thought that piece of information might help them give him directions. âWith the primest doxies this side of London. One of themâs a real rum pieceâMagnificent Millie, they call her, and Iâm not ashamed to say Iâve given her my heartâmy soulâanâ most of my money, too!â He hiccupped loudly.
Bert leveled his pistol at him. âOn yer way, jingle brains, or Iâll blast a hole in yer arse.â
âForgive me.â The man lurched unsteadily toward them. âI think Iâm goinâ to be sick.â He doubled over and braced his hands against his knees.
âFor the love oâ Christ,â muttered Bert, wincing as the man began to make horrific retching sounds. âCould ye turn yer head, at least?â He lowered his pistol.
âHe ainât feelinâ well, Bert,â said Stanley, sympathetic. âMaybe he ate some bad bubble anâ squeak.â
Seizing upon the distraction, Camelia let out what she hoped was a convincing swooning cry and went limp in Stanleyâs arms.
âHere now, whatâs the matter with her?â Bert demanded, alarmed. âWhat the hell did ye do to her, Stanley?â
âI didnât do nothinâ,â Stanley said defensively as he awkwardly tried to keep Camelia from collapsing onto the filthy ground. âShe must oâ got scared anâ faintedâI told ye she was scared, Bert! All yer bluster about snuffinâ itâye ainât supposed to talk to ladies like that!â
Doubled over like a rag doll, Camelia jerked the knife sheathed in her boot free while her captors argued over which of them had caused her to swoon. One deep thrust into Stanleyâs thigh would force the giant to release her. Then she would yank the blade out and hurl it at Bert, causing him to drop his pistol while she raced away.
One . . . two . . . three . . .
An ear-splitting blast pierced the air, then another and another. Balls of fire exploded around them.
â
Help!
â shrieked Bert, tearing down the alley as fast as his stout little legs would carry him. âHeâs shootinâ at usâcome on, Stanleyârun for yer life!â
âCome on, yer ladyship.â Stanley swung Camelia up and shielded her with his body. âThat soakerâs gone off his head!â
âPut me down!â All thoughts of stabbing poor Stanley were eclipsed by the realization that the giant was now apparently trying to save her.
âRelease her!â Simon commanded, âor weâll blow you into bits so small, the rats will be licking you up for a week!â He hurled several more firecrackers at their fleeing forms, which exploded in a deafening blaze of red, green, and orange light.
âGodamighty, itâs a bloody army!â yelped Stanley, cradling Camelia tightly against him as he lumbered along, oblivious of the fact that she was now holding a knife.
âFor Christâs sake, Stanley, toss her down!â shouted Bert, who was wheezing and gasping for breath. âItâs her they want, not us!â
âThey are trying to save me, Stanley,â Camelia explained, struggling against his massive chest. âJust put me down.â
Stanley frowned, worried. âYe sure yeâll be all right, yer ladyship? Ye ainât feelinâ faint no more?â
âIâll be fine,â she assured him.
âAll right, then.â He planted her roughly on her feet, holding her steady until he was certain she was able to stand on her own.
Another series of explosions blasted through the alley.
âCome on, Stanley, for the love oâ Christ,
run
!â yelled Bert.
Stanley obligingly loped down the alley to join his terrified cohort.
âAfter them, men!â bellowed Simon dramatically as he reached Camelia. âDonât let them get away!â He continued
Permuted Press, Jessica Meigs