Read A Parent's Guide for Suicidal and Depressed Teens for Free Online

911 for an ambulance immediately. If your child is talking about wanting to die and can't promise not to make an attempt at suicide, then find a crisis center. Nowadays most cities have a crisis line that can help you find an adolescent treatment center.
The day I took Rachel to the hospital was the holiday for Martin Luther King, Jr. I pictured him with his dream, his courage, and asked that she receive the same courage in her quest.
The point of this brief chapter is simple: You must put the book down and dial 911 if your child is in danger.

 

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Inside the Heart of Despair: Asking for Support
Oh, where can I go from your spirit, Or where can I fall from your face? If I climb the heavens you are there. If I lie in the grave, you are there. If I take the wings of the dawn And dwell at the sea's farthest end, Even there your hand would lead me, Your right hand would hold me fast. PSALM 139:7-10
This psalm is a comfort to me in three ways. It expresses my love for my daughter, it stands for my awareness of a higher power in my life, and it reminds me that my daughter also has a higher power. When I feel anxious about her well-being, I remind myself that no human power alone could have relieved me of my alcoholism; a miraculous higher power lifted me from my dependency. That same power is available to her.

 

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When we live through a crisis, we may receive many miraculous gifts. We may experience our friendships in a new way. We may experience our spirituality at a deeper level. At every step of the way it is important to ask for support. It is important to think about what you need and keep asking until you receive it. Your needs will probably change in character as the crisis changes from an immediate to a long-term situation.
Ask for Help
When you ask people for help, proceed cautiously. Not everyone you know is going to be supportive of your situation. Some have an aversion to any situation involving hospitals, treatment centers, locked wards. Some are going to be judgmental about suicide. At this time you can't afford to be around people who don't support you. You need to take care of yourself, so don't feel obligated to discuss your situation with judgmental people. I've found that many parents with small children pull back when they hear stories about adolescents in pain. I feel as if I can hear them thinking, "My child, my darling sweetie, will never rebel like that!" When a child is in a severe crisis, parents don't need criticism or advice. We're probably already getting more than we know what to do with. So I simply thank them for their concern and turn to those who can really help me.

 

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You will receive support if you ask for it. You will be surprised at the warmth and generosity you receive; there will be so much of it. It may come from unexpected people.
Personal support is vital to making it through this kind of stress. If you come from a background similar to mine, you may not have much support from your parents and extended family. That means you will have to work actively to find the support you need. You have to ask for help with practical things, like driving to the hospital, and for spiritual support.
During my crisis I felt really loved because of the people who came forward to help. I deeply value the friends and strangers who offered help. My sister and her husband were there every day. I've known people who don't have any living relatives; I'll always be grateful that my sister is here with me.
Another source of supportive people are other adults who care about your child. Think about who your child trusts and ask them for help: teachers, hairdressers, employers, and neighbors are a good start. I let Rachel decide who she wanted to come to the hospital to visit with her. The people she baby-sits for came to see her and brought their baby. It was wonderful to see all the other adolescents in the hospital flock to see the baby. The baby was so full of life, she gave everyone