Read Zelazny, Roger - Novel 07 for Free Online

she normally replied that it was
still too early to see clearly, to say anything for certain.
                   Months later, when Richard Guise departed on a
lengthy business trip, Dennis' condition still seemed unchanged. The daily
sessions went on. Vicki spent more and more time with her plants. The few
minutes, mornings and afternoons, grew into hours. Evenings, she began reading
gardening books; she obtained more plants, had a small greenhouse constructed.
                   One morning, Lydia emerged from Dennis' room to find the
taller woman leaning against the wall.
                   " Victoria ," she said, a beginning smile falling
toward its opposite.
                   "I want to read him, Lydia . All this time ... I have to see what he is
like now "
                   "I have to advise against it. I have been
controlling him quite strictly, and any intrusive thoughts or feelings might
upset the balances I am trying to—"
                   "I am not going to broadcast. I just want
to look."
                   "There is not really that much to see at
this point. He will seem as he always has—"
                   "I have to see. I insist."
                   "You give me no choice," Lydia said, stepping aside. "But I wish you
would think about it for a minute before you go in."
                   "I have already thought about it."
                   Vicki entered the room, moved to the side of
the bed. Dennis lay on his side, staring past her at the far wall. His eyes did
not move, not even when she passed directly before him.
                   She opened her mind and reached, very
carefully, toward him.
                   Her eyes were dry when she emerged. She walked
past Lydia , through the front rooms and out into the courtyard. She seated herself
on the bench and stared at the geraniums. She did not move when Lydia came and sat beside her.
                   For a long while, neither spoke.
                   Then, finally, Vicki said, "It's like
giving isometrics to a corpse."
                   Lydia shook her head.
                   "It only seems that way," she said.
"The fact that there are no obvious changes cannot be held as too
important right now. At any time during the months to come, the exercises in
which we are engaged could suddenly become crucial, making all the difference
between stability and continued dysfunction. This is another reason I did not
want you to check on him now. Your own morale is an important part of his
environment."
                   "I had to see," Vicki said.
                   "I understand. But please do not do it
again."
                   "I won't. I do not want to."
                   After a time, I do not know about the morale
part, though, Vicki indicated. I do not see how I can manage it. I do not know
how to change responses, reactions — here, inside. I was afraid of things so
much of the time. ... When I was a child it was my sister Eileen. She was not
TP; I could read her thoughts of me. Later there were teachers. Then the whole
world ... Going to hell in a handbasket ... Then my first husband ... Paul ...
Life was a lousy place till I met Dick. I wanted someone like him — older,
stronger, who knew how to do all the things I could not do — to keep things
safe, together. And he did, too. Before I met him, it always seemed as if the
world was on the verge of falling apart all about me. He made the feeling go
away — or kept it a good distance off. The same thing, I guess. I had felt
there was nothing he could not do, that things would always be good with him.
The world would work the way that it should. I would not be hurt. Then — this —
happened — with Dennis. Now, I am afraid again. ... It has been growing and
growing ever since it happened. I watch the news