Read Zelazny, Roger - Novel 07 for Free Online Page B

corpse or a living lobster. Depending on how things went
... life is more a process of what happens to you while you are waiting for
things than it is the collection of things themselves.
                   The weapon lay at my feet, a .30/06. It was
covered by the dark jacket I had worn last night. I had spent a day with it up
in the hills, and even slept with it for several nights running. Yesterday, I
had stripped it down, cleaned it, oiled it. Now it was loaded, ready. No need
to touch it again until it was time to use it. Another might pick it up, fondle
it, fool with it, replace it, return to it. Since the bulk of life is waiting,
my feelings have always been that one should learn to do it well. The world
comes at you through the senses. There is no way to prevent this wholly, short
of death, nor should I desire to. It forces a model of itself upon your inner
being. So, willing or not, I have it inside me here. Its will is therefore
stronger than my own, and I am part of everything it has shown me. Truly, the
highest form of activity in which I might engage is its contemplation. But who
can be continuously comfortable with ultimates? I would not have minded smoking
as I waited, a thing I did in earlier days before I saw how things worked. The
other Children of the Earth would say that it is bad for the health and an
incidental air pollutant. For me, the air pollution is enough. Too much,
actually. Though the world is greater than I am, I know that it can be hurt. I wish
to refrain from doing so in as many areas as possible. Even if the results are
negligible, I would see them entered into the image of the world within me with
an awareness of myself as their agent. This would disturb me at times of
waiting and contemplation; that is to say, much of the time. As to its effects
on my health, this would trouble me not at all. I do not much care what becomes
of me. A man is born, lives, dies. Given infinity, I will be dead as long as
anyone else. Unless there is something to reincarnation, as some of them say
... In that case, though, it does not matter either. All that does matter is to
build the image and enjoy it, to keep from disturbing its balances, to refrain
from harming it.... Or, as I am going to do now, some positive thing to improve
it or protect it. That is virtue, the only virtue I can see. If I die bearing
with me a better image than would have existed but for my efforts, then I will
have passed fulfilled, having rendered the Earth my mother some payment for my
keep, some token of gratitude for the time of my existence. As for what becomes
of me in the process, let them write: Roderick Leishman. He didn't much care
what became of him.
                   Two State cars purred up the street and hissed
to a halt before the entrance of La Fonda. I leaned forward as a State trooper
emerged from the building and went to speak with the drivers. Soon, soon now .
. . I’d helped blow two dams during the past year. That makes six for the COE,
and two nuclear power plants. The Children have been busy. Today, though, we
might accomplish a lot more. Stop the damage before it begins. Wheeler and
McCormack, governors of Wyoming and Colorado , here to meet with the governor of New Mexico to discuss large-scale energy projects—
large-scale exploitation, pollution, corruption, destruction. I bear them no
personal malice, though. Shouldn't have read as much about them as I did. Not
all that bad, as individuals. But the Earth is more important Their deaths will
mean more than their deaths....
                   I watched the trooper turn and head back into
La Fonda. Slowly—no real hurry necessary—I leaned and uncovered my weapon. I
raised it then and held it across my knees. I had already chalked the sign of
the Children of the Earth on the wall beside me.
                   Not too much longer now, I'd say....
                   Two troopers emerged and held the doors, one
of