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enough to get a little woozy.
    The first thing on her to-do list was already a
failure when she went downstairs. Jake and Lori were dressed for school and
waiting at the table.
    "Hey! I was supposed to make breakfast. You're
supposed to sit there and read the paper." She patted her dad on the back, and
then tugged him by the hand back to the table. "Sit!"
    "Okay, okay. I just wanted to make sure you had a
good morning is all. Square meal and all."
    "I'll be fine. I can cook some eggs and some
bacon. At least I think I can," she teased, taking up the spatula and flipping
the two un-flipped pieces of bacon. "Need coffee?"
    Her dad grabbed his paper and said: "yes, please!"
with a huge grin across his face.
    "Good. You're learning," she said. "I'm here to
help. Stop taking care of me. Okay?"
    "It's a hard thing to do, baby girl."
    "I know, but that's the whole reason I'm here."
She stared at her dad's face for a second.
    His face was looser than it was only a couple of
days ago. His eyes didn't have that pinched up forehead between them and the
crow's feet, from where he squinted when he laughed, were back along with the
smile lines in the corners of his mouth. As he sat there and took a big gulp of
steaming hot coffee, Ryan Barton smiled even though he didn't know anyone was
looking his way.
    "By the way, Lyssie," he said without looking up
from the sports page, "I found the letter you left me."
    Lys's stomach almost turned a flip. Every word of
the note was true, but that sort of emotion was something she'd just never done
much of before. Her voice trembled a little when she told him she hoped he read
it all the way through.
    "I did," he said. "It's a lot to think about. What
you said struck a few nerves. It... Well, is it okay if we talk about it when I
get back this afternoon?"
    "Sure, yeah," Alyssa said, trying to hide her
disappointment.
    "One thing really hit me though," he continued,
"because I thought the same thing."
    "Should we talk about this in front of the kids?"
    "I don't see why not. They're old enough that I'd
hate for them to see their dad as a cold-hearted old man with no emotions. I
want them to know that it's okay to have feelings. Right guys?"
    "Yep," Jake said.
    Lori followed with another affirmative sound that
was a bit like a honking horn.
    "What you said about this place not feeling like
home with mom gone, that struck a nerve. For a couple months, I felt the same
way. Something just wasn't right about it. I was tense, and that made the kids
tense. Then them being irritable made me even more up-tight and on and on. Then
all the working and the stress made me sick. Like physically sick."
    "Oh daddy," Alyssa said, "I'm sorry this all
happened to you. I should have come back sooner."
    "No, no, hear me out. Taking care of me isn't your
responsibility, but I do absolutely appreciate it. But no, what I was saying is
that it didn't feel like home until you came back, not really. You're a lot
like your mom, you know. You handle things the same way. No matter how bad
things might get, you've got that easy smile that she does. Did, I guess."
    She took the plate of bacon around and distributed
the stuff without speaking.
    A moment later, she cracked a whole pile of eggs,
beat them together, and then as soon as they were sizzling gently in the pan,
she turned around slowly and shuffled over to where her dad sat, threw her arms
around his neck, and squeezed him as tight as she possibly could.
    ––––––––
    The drive to school brought back all sorts of
memories. The long, shadow darkened canopy road from their house to town was
the route Alyssa's mom took every morning to deliver her daughter to Mrs.
Klipple. Her teacher for most of elementary school, and a good chunk of middle
school, Mrs. Klipple brought cookies every Thursday for the kids because she
baked them Wednesday for church, and there were always leftovers.
    Phantom brown sugar, butter, and chocolate chips
tickled her nose, right along with the