Read My Holiday in North Korea for Free Online

holiday lights of course, this time shaped like a Christmas tree I think, and pink balloons to match the pink-and-blue napkins, and gold-beige-covered chairs. There were pink-and-purple, cone-shaped, tulle-draped flower stands with giant bows around their skinny necks and snowman-size rose bouquets for heads. There was a large flat-screen TV—for entertainment, I suppose—and twenty or so cases of beer stacked along the wall next to the bridal table. The table was covered by an elaborate floral arrangement with a heart at its center, in which sat stuffed teddy bears (man and wife—guessing newlyweds) dressed like pilgrims. There was also a real, dead stuffed bird on the table next to the pilgrims. Which species of dead bird, I cannot guess.

    But the thing that really caught my eye was the individually wrapped towelette packets included at every place setting. Aside from the fact they were even using individually wrapped towelette packets as part of the place settings at a wedding (although the etiquette rules on this may be more lax for weekday daytime weddings), they seem to have been taken from China Air, or so the labeling led me to believe. Perhaps tourists who failed to use theirs on their flights casually gave them to their handlers, who amassed them over time, and they found themselves at a wedding.
    We’d long ago finished lunch and had been sitting there for a while. The reception was delayed. My handlers were bored to pieces, yet I’m still riveted by the simple machinations of table setting and party preparation going on.
    By now my handlers are slacking off a bit—a combination of being tired from a very busy morning, boredom at sitting waiting, and a shared Large Beer at lunch. Their lack of attention emboldens me to take more photos of more things without worrying about getting caught.
    The photo I sneak of a waitress standing casually in the kitchen, with her left leg bent just a touch, waiting for something at the counter, is the photo that breaks the camel’s back. First I get into trouble…no more photos (now I’m bored), then the waitress does (unfair rebuke…I’m the one with the camera, after all).
    Several people enter the restaurant and DISCUSSIONS take place. It prompts me to wonder if and how many DISCUSSIONS must have taken place for me to be sitting there bored in the first place.

    Older Handler keeps me updated: bride and groom delayed, bride and groom arriving. Then she tells me to stay standing at the back of the room.
    The guests begin arriving, both men and women (Older Handler explains that some wedding receptions are male- or female-only), and they are all dressed in their regular NoKo attire. That is, whatever they would have been wearing five minutes ago if they were not going to a wedding was what they were all wearing now. Men dressed in military uniforms? Check! Men dressed in short-sleeve work shirts and pants? Check! Ladies in their Mad Men costumes? Check! Children in school uniforms? Check! The only thing missing was semiformal, formal, or cocktail attire. Unfortunately Older Handler has also informed me that I’m not allowed to take any photos of the guests.
    So I’m hanging back, trying to look casual and be as unobtrusive as an American Imperialist can be while crashing a wedding in North Korea.Older Handler tells me to get ready, that the bride and groom are on their way! I feel like a paparazzo waiting for the money shot. But I’m a little confused about how I’m supposed to take a photo from the back of the room.
    When the bride and groom cross the threshold, the logistics are made clear: Older Handler drag-pushes me straight through the middle of the crowded room, (conveniently) making it impossible for me to take photos of any guests, before depositing me directly in front of the bride and groom, who are standing behind the bridal table.
    I may be struggling to find true north in this land of uncertainty, ambiguity, and doubt, but the bride’s unmistakable