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to head back to Ryan's apartment
when I make a last-minute decision and get on the highway. Half an
hour later, I'm in Park Meadows pulling in to the driveway at my
mom's house.
    The place
hasn't changed much since I lived here four years ago. In fact, it
hasn't changed much since we moved in when I was five. There
may have been some fresh coats of
paint here and there, plus some additional shrubs. Not to mention the trees
that were held up with string are now towering over my head. Other than that? Exactly how I
remember it. I'm thankful that my father never sold the place, or
the extra property. Some of our neighbors did, and now a lot of the
scenery down the road has changed dramatically. It feels wrong,
like the loss of something intrinsic. If my childhood home was
different, I don't know if I would like coming here as much as I
do.
    My mom always keeps
the side door unlocked when she's home. She's usually watching my
brother Nick's kids, Sasha and Toby, while he's at work. They love
to explore the same spots I did growing up. When I come into the
kitchen, my mom turns around from the stove. Her eyes brighten for
a second, then the light in them fades when she sees the look on my
face. “Honey, what are you doing here?”
    “ Drew was
cheating on me with Victoria.” I close my eyes. Saying the words
out loud makes it hurt all over again.
    Her hand slams down on the counter, causing
my eyes to shoot back open. “He w hat ?”
    I go to the nearest
wall outlet. “My phone died. Can I plug it in?”
    “ Of course,”
she says as she turns off the stove. “But honey, what happened?”
She comes over to me, taking hold of my hand.
    I sigh,
hating that I have to say the words. “They were cheating; Ryan and I caught them
yesterday.”
    “ Who's
Ryan?”
    “The guy Victoria was dating.”
    She pulls me over
to the kitchen table and I sit down. She lets go of my hands and
gets a couple mugs from the cabinet. “Tell me everything.”
    While she puts the
kettle on to make us some tea, I fill her in on the details. At
least, the details I want her to know. My mom doesn't need to know
about what happened with Ryan other than the fact that he offered
up his couch for me. “I'm a mess,” I say in conclusion.
    “ Pish posh,
you're not a mess.” She sets down both mugs and sits next to me.
“You're twenty-two. You're allowed to make mistakes, sudden career
changes, and ditch bad boyfriends.”
    “ You left out
trading in decent shelter for living in a cardboard
box.”
    “ Please.” She
waves her hand at me, rolling her eyes. “That Ryan guy has
generously offered up a place for you to stay.”
    “ I can't stay
with him forever.” As tempting as it is. I brush the thought aside
and take a sip of my tea, savoring the lemon flavoring. “Even if I
would extend my stay, I can't do so without compensating
him.”
    “ Yes, dear, I
know.” She sighs. “Are you going to be okay?”
    “ Not today,
but eventually.” I gulp down more of the tea and close my eyes. I
need to get my mind off the bad things in life. “Are Sasha and Toby
outside?”
    My mom nods. “Where
else would they be?”
    I smirk. “How have
they been?”
    “ Ornery as
usual, like their father.” She looks at me and frowns, reaching
over to touch the side of my face gently. “If you need to stay with
us while you find a place, I can tidy up the guest
bedroom.”
    The guest
bedroom used to be my bedroom until last
year. I love my family more than anything, but the thought of
living here again scares me. Not in the “who wants to live with
their parents?” kind of way. More like a “living with my parents
again is like going backwards” way. Admitting defeat. Giving up.
“Thank you, Mom. I appreciate the offer.”
    “ Of course,
baby doll.” She stands up. “ Are you going to stay for
supper?”
    I shake my head.
“Ryan said he was going to pick something up after work.” I rub my
temples with my index fingers. “I'm going to go out in the