Read Pizza Is the Best Breakfast for Free Online

cheese, pepperoni, broccoli, onions, and mushrooms.
    I do not like broccoli, onions, or mushrooms, so I take those off of the list right away. I look around in the refrigerator, peering on all of the shelves and in each of the drawers. There is a package of bright orange cheddar cheese slices in one drawer, but nothing that says “mozzarella.” I place the cheddar cheese on the counter, and I read the list of ingredients again: tortillas, tomato sauce, pepperoni.
    Hmm.
    I look all around the refrigerator again, but I do not see any of these things. I place the bag of white bread next to the cheddar cheese, and then I pull the jumbo-size bottle of ketchup out of the refrigerator door. Ketchup is much better than tomato sauce anyway, I think. Because ketchup is best friends with French fries, so it has very good taste in friends.
    The only thing missing now is the pepperoni, and I study the picture of the pizza with the small circles of pepperoni slices sprinkling the top. I look in the pantry, and the only round things I see are these salty crackers that Mom sometimes gives us as a snack with the cheddar cheese. This means that the crackers taste good with the cheese—plus, they are round, so they will be a good pepperoni substitute.
    I roll up the sleeves of my pajamas and get towork. But even if I stand all the way on my tippy toes, it is still hard for me to reach everything on the counter. I walk into the toy room and turn the light on, then I pick up one of the chairs from the stupid kiddie table where Mom and Dad like to make me eat with Timmy. I carry it into the kitchen and place it next to the counter, and I step on top of it. Now I am the perfect height.
    I undo the twisty tie on the bread bag and place a slice on the counter in front of me. I look back at the recipe: Spread tomato sauce on top of the tortilla. I lift the gigantic bottle of ketchup, turn it upside down, and flip open the cap. An enormous stream of ketchup shoots out of the bottle, onto the slice of bread, and onto the counter, too, and I quickly flip the bottle back over and hop off of the chair to get a spoon. I then spread the ketchup all over the slice of bread with the back of the spoon, and I look like a real chef now, I think.
    Top with cheese. Assemble pepperoni slices and vegetables.
    I make a face at the word “vegetables,” and I pull a slice of cheddar cheese out of the package. It covers most of the bread slice, but not all of it, and cheese is the best part of pizza anyway, so I take another slice out of the package. Then I place four crackers on top of the cheese so that they look like pepperoni.
    Bake at 350, the recipe says, and since I do not know how to turn on the oven without a grown-up, I lift up the corners of my pizza, carry it carefully over to the microwave, open the door, and place it inside. Then I press 3 and 5 on the microwave’s number pad, followed by the ON button. I watch my pizza start to turn around and around inside, and I lick my lips as my stomach grumblies start to complain again.
    While I wait, I decide to make myself anotherpizza, because I am very, very hungry. The microwave whirls and hums as I assemble another ketchup-smothered bread slice, topping the whole thing with two slices of cheese again. I perfectly place the crackers into position, lift up the pizza, and begin to step off of the chair to bring it to the microwave.
    Pop!
    Pop! Pop! Pop!
    Hisssssssssss.
    POP!

    I slip the rest of the way off of the chair and accidentally throw the second pizza over my head. The chair topples onto its side with a crash, and I hit the floor with a thud. The pizza splats back onto the counter, while the popping sound continues from across the kitchen. I start crawling on my hands and knees as fast as I can toward the living room, trying to hide from the ghostthat I am sure has snuck into my house, even though all of the lights are on and everything. My knees scrape against the floor, but I duck