it.
Jane doesn’t hide her tears, though; she never does.I doubt she can.“I should have told you,” she says, “and I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for letting her lie to you like that.”I hear her heels click towards me.She holds my hand, the giant diamond of her ring pressed into my skin.“You don’t have to forgive me, sweetheart.I don’t expect you to.But I just want to say…I’m trying.I’m trying to fix it.Maybe it’s too late, and if it is, I’m sorry for that, too.”
I throw my arm over my eyes.Aunt Jane has seen me cry a million times, but I’m not about to let her see this.
“Well,” she continues, letting go, “like I said, figured it’d be good to know where he was at least, if it comes to that.And whether you need a new kidney or not, maybe you’d want to know who he was.Is.”She heads for the door, but pauses.“That is something to think about, Erin: he’s still here.I’m sure there’s a lot of things you wished you could’ve said to your mom, or asked her, before she died, and you can’t now, because she’s gone…but your daddy’s not.”
There’s another long silence, and then, slowly, I hear the door swish open, then click shut.Her heels clack down the hall, but this time, they aren’t a steady, sure rhythm.The steps start and stop, as though every few feet, she thinks about turning back.But then she keeps going.
I open my eyes when the footsteps fade to nothing.Blinking tears away, I look at Alex.
“A lot of shitty things do happen to me.”
He nods gravely.“But maybe this isn’t one of them.”
“What?”
Alex clears his throat nervously, but his words are sure.“Remember what I said, about some obstacles really being opportunities?Maybe this,” he says, gesturing towards the piece of paper on my tray, “is one of those things.”
“Right.”I sit back up.“My mom lied to me, Alex.All because she didn’t want to talk to her ex.She treated him just like all her other exes, cutting them out when they pissed her off, no problem.But my dad wasn’t one of them.At least…not to me.”Before I can start crying again, I summon more anger.“And then, Jane—the one adult I’ve always trusted, the only person I thought was always there for me—lets her get away with it.”
“I’m not saying you shouldn’t be mad,” he explains.“I’m just saying…your aunt has a point.She knows what she did was wrong.And she’s hurt that it hurt you.But she is trying to fix it.”
“She only tracked him down so I’d have a donor back-up,” I snap.
“Is that so bad?Who cares what her reasons were—she wants you to live, Erin.She loves you.”He scratches the back of his head, thinking.“Granted, I don’t have experience in this area.My parents are still alive, still married.Typical suburban home.But if it turned out my dad wasn’t my dad or something…I’d want to get to know the real one.”
“This is different.I’m not even sure he wants to meet me.Hell, I’m not even sure he knows I exist.”
“Then let him know.”
I shake my head.“You don’t understand, Alex.”
“I’m not pretending I do.”
“Then butt out.”I catch myself.“Sorry.”
“Look,” he says, going to the window as a glare of sunlight starts creeping across my face.He shuts the blinds, then turns and leans against the sill.“Let’s put a pin in it.I’ll support your choice, no matter what it is, whether it changes later on or not.But keep that piece of