Read The Zombie Survival Guide: How To Live Like A King After The Outbreak for Free Online Page A
Authors: Etienne DeForest, Art Gelsinger
bigger in Texas, even the ability to conform to fascist doctrine, line up for basic commodities, and hate the undead. Not sure how that’s applicable, but it stands cuz I said it.
The point is that the Kalashnikov was designed to kill people, fire under the worst of conditions, and make your dick as hard as it can humanly get. Although highly inaccurate, with its high-powered round and overall lack of recoil dispersion, the 7.62 mm slug will obliterate any body part it happens to come in contact with, especially the melon-soft heads of the undead.
This gun can be thrown in the mud, sodomized, and trampled upon, and it will still fire as faithfully as General Motors. Although intercourse with your rifle is highly discouraged, you could have all sorts of relations with this gun and still have it fire flawlessly for you. Err, not that I could actually squeeze my massive tool into anything smaller than a bazooka, but… Oh well nevermind.
Medium-Range Combat
Preferred weaponry for combat at 10- 50 yards:
The Remington Model 870 does a superb job of assisting the undead with their problem of having an intact dome. Commonly used by police, hunters, and even the U.S. military, 12 gauge rounds can be easily and cheaply produced and procured. Due to its overall effectiveness across a wide range of killing situations, there are literally millions of 870s in circulation as of today. Because it is relatively inexpensive, highly reliable, and capable of ripping a hole in anything weaker than a quarter inch of tempered steel, this is the gun of choice for any marksman/woman who prefers to get up close and personal with his/her quarry. Oh, and did I mention that after shooting it your dick/clit becomes harder than carbon fiber?
Currently, there is a lot of hype surrounding the use of sawed-off shotguns. Do not “saw off” your shotgun! Criminals use sawed-off shotguns because they are easily concealed. Movies glorify sawed-off shotguns because that's what criminals typically use in their criminal activities. In the postapocalyptic world following a zombie outbreak, however, law enforcement and movies alike will have become virtually nonexistent.
When you “saw off” a shotgun, you have effectively done three things. One, you’ve made it less accurate. Two, you’ve reduced the number of shells it can chamber. And three, although I hate to admit it, you’ve make it look really, really extra sexy. Please keep in mind that the same rules of conduct which apply to the AK-47 also apply to the Remington 870!
There are three types of rounds recommend for the shotgun:
• Deer slugs
• Buck shot
• Incendiary rounds
Deer slugs:
Although deer slugs pack the most stopping power per dollar, they do require an accurate shot. A deer slug is a large caliber round traveling at a relatively low velocity compared to those fired from a higher powered rifle. The result, however, is massive trauma to anything the slug happens to come in contact with. A deer slug will not only politely remove the head of your slow-moving, brain-munching foe, but it will also uproot their body from the ground on which they stand to an altitude somewhere between one and four feet above sea level (relative to local altitude, of course). This is a pretty impressive feat, as my own grandmother cannot even jump one foot high on her own.
While very effective, this round does have its downsides when compared to buck shot. To accomplish the phenomenal sight of a zombie being knocked off its feet in a symphony of death and large caliber rounds, this requires a direct head shot. In addition, this round was designed to take down large game, one shot at a time. It is probably incapable of clearing two or three undead bodies in a single shot, as most likely the round will have lost all its momentum after its initial contact with flesh, rotted or otherwise.
Buck shot:
Although buck shot
The point is that the Kalashnikov was designed to kill people, fire under the worst of conditions, and make your dick as hard as it can humanly get. Although highly inaccurate, with its high-powered round and overall lack of recoil dispersion, the 7.62 mm slug will obliterate any body part it happens to come in contact with, especially the melon-soft heads of the undead.
This gun can be thrown in the mud, sodomized, and trampled upon, and it will still fire as faithfully as General Motors. Although intercourse with your rifle is highly discouraged, you could have all sorts of relations with this gun and still have it fire flawlessly for you. Err, not that I could actually squeeze my massive tool into anything smaller than a bazooka, but… Oh well nevermind.
Medium-Range Combat
Preferred weaponry for combat at 10- 50 yards:
The Remington Model 870 does a superb job of assisting the undead with their problem of having an intact dome. Commonly used by police, hunters, and even the U.S. military, 12 gauge rounds can be easily and cheaply produced and procured. Due to its overall effectiveness across a wide range of killing situations, there are literally millions of 870s in circulation as of today. Because it is relatively inexpensive, highly reliable, and capable of ripping a hole in anything weaker than a quarter inch of tempered steel, this is the gun of choice for any marksman/woman who prefers to get up close and personal with his/her quarry. Oh, and did I mention that after shooting it your dick/clit becomes harder than carbon fiber?
Currently, there is a lot of hype surrounding the use of sawed-off shotguns. Do not “saw off” your shotgun! Criminals use sawed-off shotguns because they are easily concealed. Movies glorify sawed-off shotguns because that's what criminals typically use in their criminal activities. In the postapocalyptic world following a zombie outbreak, however, law enforcement and movies alike will have become virtually nonexistent.
When you “saw off” a shotgun, you have effectively done three things. One, you’ve made it less accurate. Two, you’ve reduced the number of shells it can chamber. And three, although I hate to admit it, you’ve make it look really, really extra sexy. Please keep in mind that the same rules of conduct which apply to the AK-47 also apply to the Remington 870!
There are three types of rounds recommend for the shotgun:
• Deer slugs
• Buck shot
• Incendiary rounds
Deer slugs:
Although deer slugs pack the most stopping power per dollar, they do require an accurate shot. A deer slug is a large caliber round traveling at a relatively low velocity compared to those fired from a higher powered rifle. The result, however, is massive trauma to anything the slug happens to come in contact with. A deer slug will not only politely remove the head of your slow-moving, brain-munching foe, but it will also uproot their body from the ground on which they stand to an altitude somewhere between one and four feet above sea level (relative to local altitude, of course). This is a pretty impressive feat, as my own grandmother cannot even jump one foot high on her own.
While very effective, this round does have its downsides when compared to buck shot. To accomplish the phenomenal sight of a zombie being knocked off its feet in a symphony of death and large caliber rounds, this requires a direct head shot. In addition, this round was designed to take down large game, one shot at a time. It is probably incapable of clearing two or three undead bodies in a single shot, as most likely the round will have lost all its momentum after its initial contact with flesh, rotted or otherwise.
Buck shot:
Although buck shot