The Unexpurgated Diary of a Shanghai Baby

Read The Unexpurgated Diary of a Shanghai Baby for Free Online

Book: Read The Unexpurgated Diary of a Shanghai Baby for Free Online
Authors: Elsie McCormick
swimming?” asked mama, looking up from Ladies Home Journal.
    Papa started to say something, but stopped and remarked that yes, it was, but this time he was hoping to pick up a little seaweed.
    Wish he’d give some to me, as would like to see if it is good to try on new tooth.
May first
    Not much doing today. Sat in dining-room for awhile trying to lick color off of red and blue round things which I found on floor. Color didn’t come off very well. Later stayed in kitchen with amah while cook was fixing tiffin. Cook’s cat took piece of fish from shelf and began to eat it on floor. Cook took fish away from cat and put it on frying pan. Was surprised cat was hungry, as had heard papa tell friend that he had sat up most of the night feeding the kitty.
May first
    Mama cross at tiffin. Told papa that the lowbrow friends he met at the club had no place in a proper home.
    â€œThat tall one who just came out from the States is round-shouldered from getting in and out ofpatrol-wagons,” said mama.
    Papa said that some of mama’s friends were not so many laps ahead and that stout lady was so uncultured that she thought “The Lays of Ancient Rome” had something to do with eggs.
    â€œBesides, she’s so fat that she has to ride around in two ricshas,” papa remarked.
    No more noise during tiffin.
May second
    Rain. Stayed home and heard coolie play fiddle. Mama said that the only thing worse than man learning to play cornet was man learning to play Chinese musical instrument.
    â€œThe trouble is you never can tell when they’ve learned,” said papa.
    Hope coolie doesn’t get into habit, as family couldn’t tell difference in case I wanted to squall for something.
May second
    Papa didn’t go to office this afternoon on account of races. Asked Auntie if she wanted to put up a bet. “Will they give me my money back in case my horse doesn’t win?” Auntie inquired.
    â€œOf course,” said papa. “Do you think they wouldbe mean enough to keep it?”
    Auntie said that she had read a lot about race-course sharks and wanted to be careful.
May second
    Still raining. Nothing to do but stay home with wooden elephant and watch coolie sweep dust under living-room lounge. Papa came home later, and mama asked him if his favorite had won.
    â€œThat horse was so slow coming in that the judges thought he was winning the next race,” said papa, pulling off gloves with unpleasant look. “He certainly was one poor runner.”
    â€œHow much did it cost you to find that out?” asked mama, but papa had started upstairs to get money out of mama’s purse for ricsha man.
May third
    Sat in dining-room and heard family talk about bridge they had gone to at place called Columbia Country Club. Papa remarked that the family scores, taken together, about equalled the number of votes a cross-eyed girl would get in a beauty-contest.
    â€œIt’s too bad we didn’t play mah-jong instead,” said mama. “We might have won the mah-jong set.”
    â€œYes,” papa answered. “Think of all the fun thebaby could have had swallowing the counters.”
    Papa said after a moment that he always had been keen about bridge.
    â€œI love the sprightly conversation that goes during a bridge game and the kindly looks that are exchanged among the players,” papa remarked. “I am also fond of the lady who holds a coroner’s inquest over every hand and digs back 13 tricks to call you to time for not having led the fourth best of your strongest suit. The only time I’m happy playing bridge is when I’m the dummy.”
    â€œThat’s because you feel so natural,” said mama.
    Papa started to say something, but began to whistle “Kiss Me Again” and went out to office.
May third
    Family all worked up at tiffin because I said “Daddy,” Nothing to get excited over, as have been saying it for past month. Only

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