He is so hot. As my feet lure me towards the elevator I assure myself that I will regret not getting his number.
~~
T he lobby of the hotel is quiet and lonely. The front desk clerk hardly acknowledges me as my bare feet walk across the washed out green carpet. I know she is silently judging me in my wrinkled dress and messy hair. As I plunk down into a chair by the coffee station I wish I brought a hair tie or at least a brush. I called Noelle from the elevator and told her where to come get me. I hold her responsible for all of this. She fed me my first couple of drinks and after that the others were more than welcome. I didn’t have to drink them, but who am I kidding, being wound up I needed to let go. The last few weeks I have been walking around feeling sorry for myself. Letting out a small aggravated breath I think about how much I don’t want Robert's cheating on me, with a married woman no less, to define me. It will hurt for a while. The knife to my heart came when he said that I was uninteresting in bed. Making love was the most sacred thing to me. I gave all of myself to him and let myself be exposed. I trusted Robert and if there was a problem he should have talked to me, told me how he felt or showed me what he wanted. After last night I know that I would have enjoyed all that with him. It’s not that our sex life was so vanilla but there was never any raw passion. Maybe you just can’t talk that one out.
Leaving Walker's room I thought I would regret last night but the more I am left to my own mind the more I realize I won’t. He promised me I would never forget it, and he sure as hell is right. I never felt so sexy in my life. My body rising and falling on top of his made me feel like a woman in control and not someone who lets others make decisions for her. I’ve spent most of my twenties letting another person dictate where I can go, what I can do and who I can and should hang out with. He may not have realized it, but Walker showed me I can make my own choices. Even if that choice was to ride him like a cowgirl.
My back straightens when I think I’ve made a mistake. Maybe I should have some fun with him and screw the entire “wait until you are in love” nonsense, because that is what it is. Nonsense. As I’m about to jump up and go back to his room I remember where I am. A hotel. He must not be from around here. I don’t see the point in having meaningless sex with someone over and over if they are just going to leave. Knowing me I would fall in love with him and be heartbroken all over again. No thank you. A new and improved Erin is on the way and another man letting me down is not in my future.
“Let’s go, slutbag! I’ve been waiting for five minutes at the curb,” Noelle’s raspy voice echoes in the lobby.
“Oh my God, shut up!” I whisper-yell, standing up, directing her attention to the clerk giving us a death glare.
“He must have been huge, Erin. You’re walking funny,” she calls out, louder this time.
A small chuckle escapes from behind the desk and my mouth drops open. Leave it to Noelle to humiliate me completely. As if that wasn’t mortifying enough she rubs my head like a dog and says, “Awe, my little Er-Bear is growing up. Your first one-night stand. After years of dating a douche you finally get your vagina some real action.”
Walking out into the warm June air after I lovingly push her out of the hotel we jump into her waiting SUV and drive away from the most awkward morning ever.
“What exactly is a slutbag?” I ask Noelle while slipping my seatbelt on.
Looking over from the driver’s side she glares at me as though I should know. “A bag full of slut, which is what you are, although I strongly support it. So, how was it? That man looked like he could rock your world multiple times.”
Staring at her in disbelief I plead the fifth. As close as we are I’ve never been the kind of woman to talk about sex, even with her. Besides my mother teaching me