thing that I should have done in the first place: talk with my mom about what occurred between Robert and me. It went a lot better than I could’ve expected. I’m sure talking about my sex life made her uncomfortable, but she never seemed as though it was too much to hear. She listened to all the details and apologized for always pushing my relationship with him to go to the next level. She even said she hoped that my lack of communication after the incident wasn’t because of her insistence on us getting married. Out of the three women I confided in, she was the one who gave me the clarity I had desperately needed. I should have gone to her first.
“Lots of people come into your life, Erin,” she had said. “Some for good, some for bad but all for one purpose; to send you in the direction you are supposed to go. Robert was there for his purpose and though his exit from your life wasn’t ideal, his presence was necessary. Soon you will figure out why.”
That was something I wasn’t too concerned with just yet.
I have the mental part under control now, but physically, Noelle is ruling that transformation. For three weeks now, she has been dragging me to the gym every other day. I’m not overweight by any means, but I am not toned either. Every class has made me feel stronger and the more I go, the more I realize that getting fit is part of my healing process. There is something about working out that sets your mind straight and makes you happy, and I was starting to smile more and more.
“My vagina hurts,” I whisper over to her in the middle of spin class. “It feels like it’s taken a good pounding!”
“Your vagina needs a good pounding. Since big man Walker, you haven’t given it the attention it needs, unless you’ve been taking a spin with the vibrator,” she yells just as the music is changing to a new song.
Every set of eyes zero in on me as my face turns a brilliant shade of red. Noelle giggles and the next song comes on cueing them to pay attention to the instructor again.
“Thanks, Noelle.”
“Thank me after your newly toned body is donning that sexy black bikini in Mexico next week.” She wiggles her eyebrows up and down making me flush again. I don’t think my body is built for a bikini but I bought one just for the trip. Operation BGP obviously needed a new bathing suit, or so I was told.
The temperature has steadily risen in the few weeks since the night I went out to the bar with Noelle, and I was ready for a trip to crystal clear blue waters. Winters around Chicago can be brutal. However, the summers are just as bad with temperatures above a hundred. We have beaches around Lake Michigan, and they are great for tanning, but when that sun is beating down on you and your only option is to jump in the murky water, you look for another source of relief or swim at your own risk.
My relief was coming in eight days. Beautiful scenery, relaxation, a pool, sandy beaches and an umbrella drink were within my reach. I can almost taste that strawberry margarita right now. This trip is going to be something I will never forget.
~~
T he hot Mexican sun beats down on us as we arrive at the Occidental Grand Cozumel. When we step out of the taxi we are greeted with brilliant yellows, blues and greens in the open air lobby. After checking in, we head to our room and slip into our bathing suits and flip-flops.
Agreeing we need a drink first we head to the poolside bar. We pass couples, families and hotel workers on the long wooden bridge, that’s surrounded by beautiful landscaping, leading to our destination. Drinks in hand, we find a cabana on the white sand next to the crystal clear ocean.
“This is amazing, Erin. I’m so glad you came,” Noelle says lifting her piña colada to my strawberry margarita.
“Thanks for forcing me to go. I really needed this.” I clink my glass to hers and take a sip looking out to the endless miles of water. I can’t believe I was originally planning to