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wants
to see a movie set in a single location?"
    "You said it."
    "But the writers are using
their self-imposed limitations to explore a particular theme," I
said. "These are movies that are literally about being trapped, so the setting
reinforces the theme. Besides, the critics love 'em."
    "Oh, the critics ." She made a
motion like she was jacking off, and I laughed.
    "Well," I said, "in addition to having
one-word titles and being about people who are trapped, you know
what else those movies all have in common?"
    "What's that?"
    "They actually got made . Unlike, oh, I
don't know, the twelve screenplays I've written?"
    Vernie smiled. "Good point. But do me
a favor?"
    "Sure."
    "Never forget the whole point of
movies."
    "What's that?" I asked.
    "Movie moments."
    I stared at her.
    "You know, movie moments?"
she went on. "Those moments in every good movie where everything
comes perfectly together — the writing, the acting, the visuals —
with some great emotional punch? Like when Brody sees the shark for
the first time in Jaws and says, 'You're gonna need a bigger boat.' Or in Spartacus when Kirk
Douglas stands up and says, 'I am Spartacus!' And then the rest of
the crowd stands up too, one by one, all saying that they're
Spartacus too."
    "The cockroach scene
in Snowpiercer ,"
I said.
    "I don't know what that
is," Vernie said, "but I'm sure you're right. A movie moment is any
moment in a movie where it all comes together — it's larger than
life, but also somehow perfectly about life. They're actually the
reason we go to the movies in the first place, because they
perfectly capture some emotion that we've all felt, and clarify
exactly what the movie is trying to say."
    I kept staring at her, but now I
looked annoyed.
    "Now what?" she said.
    "You've been my mentor for
how long now? Two years? And you're only telling me about movie
moments now ?"
    "Well, it's kind of implied in
everything I told you before."
    "Yes, but I didn't know
there was an actual technical term ."
    "A term I basically just made
up."
    "That's completely beside the point!"
I said. I kept scowling, determined to make her squirm. Alas,
Vernie rarely squirms.
    "Let's move on," she said. "What ideas
do you have so far for a single-location script?"
    Reluctantly, I withdrew my
scowl.
    "Well," I said, "my first
idea was a script called Couch
Potatoes . It's about four guys who are
roommates."
    "Why are they all guys?" Vernie
asked.
    "Good point. Okay, three guys and a
girl."
    "That's almost worse. The whole
Smurfette Principle."
    I smiled, impressed that
Vernie knew about the Smurfette Principle (which is the story trope
where there is only one major female character, usually a
completely stereotypical one, among a large cast of diverse males,
like in The Fantastic
Four , Guardians
of the Galaxy , The Avengers , The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles , Now You See Me , Harry Potter , Fast &
Furious , Winnie
the Pooh , The
Smurfs , and, oh, a zillion other
things).
    "Okay, it's four guys ," I said, and
Vernie nodded. "And they're jerky to the woman who lives next door.
But she turns out to be a gypsy, and she curses them so they can't
get up off the couch until they somehow solve the gypsy's
curse."
    She stared at me without saying a
word.
    "It's not that bad," I said. "Is
it?"
    "Apart from the
romaphobia?"
    Nate interrupted us, so I didn't get a
chance to ask what romaphobia was.
    "Screw the gas fire pit — Ruby and I
built a bonfire down on the beach," he said. "You guys wanna join
us?"
    I felt a little judged by Nate, that
he had to build a "real" fire. Even so, I looked at Vernie. "Shall
we?"
    "Oh, I don't think so," she
said.
    "Really? Why not?"
    "Because I saw that stairway down to
the beach. I'd never make it at night."
    "Sure, you will. I'll help
you."
    "No, you and your friends go, and I
think I'll turn in early."
     
    * * *
     
    The rest of us did go down to the fire
on the beach, and we all smoked a little weed (which, for the
record, is perfectly legal in