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something else?”
    I smiled once more, as I became
sure that I hadn’t ruined the conversation with my openness, and
answered her new question. “It’s the reality I miss – or crave is
probably a better description – I want to know what it feels
like to truly be human. I want to live on the planet that created
us, rather than floating around a few hundred miles away from it in
space. We came from the dust of that place and I want to feel the
same dust that created us beneath my feet.”
    “But there’s nothing left!” She
was shocked. “When the expats came aboard the space station they
were the last humans who were going to survive. The rest
were…doomed!” Her voice faltered at the end, as though her initial
reaction was being re-considered as she spoke.
    That was not what I had meant.
I wasn’t thinking that I actually wanted to go back to the desolate
Earth that our ancestors had left behind to protect us. Just that
the reality of what had existed there would be natural for
us to crave. If Cassie reacted so strongly to this, how would she
feel about some of my more radical notions about what was and was
not right about the community we lived within?
    I thought it best to appease
her for now – make the most of our conversation while it lasted, as
it would be the only one – and so I steered us away from this
contentious topic. “I suppose you’re right. Anyway, that’s all a
bit deep for a post-exam conversation, don’t you think?”
    “Yes,” Cassie looked relieved
that I was not going to press the issue.
    “What are you going to do with
the holidays?” I enquired, opting for a nice, safe topic. It was
not something I would normally be interested in – my ability to
make small-talk was extremely limited – but once I’d asked the
question, I realised that I might actually be interested in
Cassie’s answer. Until she pulled a face that is… How did I
manage to keep getting it so wrong?
    “I’ve not got any holidays. I’m
going straight to my first work placement with my parents,” she
revealed. “There was the option to start the rotations early if you
were going for placements in the medical or engineering fields.
Seeing as I had to do both, I thought it would be better to start
sooner – more practice, or something like that.”
    This calmed my initial doubts
that I had said the wrong thing again. Cassie was not happy with
the situation, rather than me. This realisation prompted me to
laugh – at myself, of course for jumping to conclusions – but then
I had to disguise it as a reaction to her words. “Why the face – it
can’t be that bad can it?”
    “No,” she admitted, although I
got the feeling she was holding something back still. She shrugged
dismissively – a sure sign that she meant something more serious
than she was about to say. “It’s me being a whining teenager I
suppose. It’s just as you get that bit older you realise that
you’re going to become your parents one day – in some way, shape or
form – and that’s quite scary. Going to work alongside them makes
me feel as though it’s the first step on that slippery slope!”
    So, Cassie was scared of
turning into her parents? That sounded truthful enough and the
awkward smile that appeared on her lips as she said this convinced
me of it even more. I felt like Cassie had told me something she’d
not shared with anyone else before – I couldn’t be sure of course,
but I’d never seen her look sheepish when I’d watched her with her
friends – and the thought of that made me intensely happy. “I
suppose you’re right.” A grin stretched my face as Cassie laughed
with me.
    We were still walking. Cassie
was so close beside me I could feel the warmth of her body as my
arm brushed past hers. It was hard for me not be distracted from
this but I was, because I just realised that this would be the end
of our conversation. We were close to the centre of the park now,
and a short distance away from us a