The Rainbow Maker's Tale
words out loud. I shook my
head distracted as much by her odd behaviour as I was with thoughts
of Cassie. Shaking my head to clear my mind, I continued with my
list.
    We were both due on placements
at The Clinic and within Engineering, but they would not be at the
same time. I thought back to our conversation: Cassie had applied
for an earlier residency to give her longer at each place, whereas
mine was on the standard rotation and not due to start for another
three weeks. The image of her face rose in my mind, her features
creased into a frown, unhappy at the prospect of starting at The
Clinic early.
    There was nothing I could do
about that, I reminded myself, as an involuntary desire to help her
swelled inside me. It was frightening how much I had already
allowed this stranger to exert a hold on me. No. There was nothing
I could do, I repeated firmly. Unless I changed my plans … My
subconscious ambushed me with this errant thought, immediately
tempting me from my planned course.
    No, I repeated firmly.
    There were plans I had made and
preparations already undertaken. I was resolved to continuing with
them. Even though I had only formed them more fully in the last
three weeks since the accident with the viewing screen, the basic
idea had been developing in my mind for a long time: since another accident nine years earlier…
    Park 17 was far behind me now
and my feet slowed to a more normal walking pace as my anxiety
lessened. I did not want to look out of place amongst the other
pedestrians. There were more people filling the avenues and squares
now, as the station inhabitants began to finish work and filter
homeward. With an upward glance, I confirmed my guess that it must
be about 5.00pm: the mirror-sky was still bright and clear, showing
no sign that the slow progression towards night had begun. At
5.30pm the artificial daytime would begin its retreat: the mirrors
high in the ceiling of the space station rotating slowly away from
the light of the sun, many thousands of miles away, and allowing
the darkness to take hold. But, for now there were no shadows
between the buildings, and I needed somewhere to hide out.
    I barely noticed the buildings
around me as I passed by. To my eyes everything was the same here:
blank and characterless, made of the same pale, strong plastic
resin as virtually everything else on the space station. For all
the difference it made, I could be walking by apartment blocks,
municipal buildings or even pavement, turned on a ninety-degree
angle and run up the walls. It was all the same and it was all built on lies.
    You can’t walk forever, I
reminded myself. That was true. Sooner or later I would walk into a
boundary wall, or perhaps a checkpoint that lead out of the Family
Quarter and into the Married or Retirement Quarters. But, I
couldn’t pass through any of those, could I? The laugh that bubbled
up my throat, acknowledging my painful joke, was more a strangled
cry; and like most of the emotions I ever felt, I swallowed it,
locking it back inside me, unseen by the world around me.
    Stop! It was a command
to myself. I didn’t need to wallow in self-pity, I needed to do
something productive. For the first time I looked around me – really looked – and recognising the buildings nearby, I
realised that I had not automatically run towards home, in fact, I
had gone in the opposite direction.
    My second home …I laughed
silently to myself as I continued walking – consciously now –
towards my favourite place on the whole space station.
    I wanted time. Time alone to
get myself refocused on the plans I had been making for as long as
I could remember. And I wanted time to push away the distracting
thoughts of Cassie that kept ensnaring me as I ran away from her.
One conversation changes nothing, I reminded myself firmly as the
Red Zone Clinic and centre of the residential hub rose into view
ahead of me.
    On a whim I turned back across
the plaza, taking a shortcut. Today I wanted time alone,

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