your answer options in silence, in the privacy of your own head. Not out loud to me.â
In the privacy of your own head
. It was because of the things she said. Not that heâd ever tell her that.
He took her glass from her hand and put it down on the table. âSay yes,â he said. âItâs easy.â
3
Saturday 17 July 2010
âWhy did you want to speak to Simon Waterhouse?â the detective called Sam asks. His surname is something long and unusual beginning with a K â he spelled it for me when he introduced himself. I didnât take it in, and didnât feel I could ask again. Heâs tall, good-looking, with black hair and a dark complexion. Heâs wearing a black suit and a white shirt with thin lilac stitched stripes, like perforated lines. No tie. I canât stop looking at his Adamâs apple. It looks sharp enough to break skin. I imagine it slicing through his neck, an arc of blood spurting out. I shake my head to banish the morbid fantasy.
Does he want me to tell him again? âI saw a woman lying face downââ
âYou misunderstand me,â he interrupts, smiling to show that he doesnât mean to be rude. âI meant why Simon Waterhouse in particular?â
Kit is in the kitchen making tea for us all. Iâm glad. Iâd find it harder to answer the question with him listening. If I didnât feel so horrible, this might be funny, like a weird sort of pantomime:
The Policeman Who Came to Tea
. Itâs only half past eight; we ought to be offering him breakfast. Itâs good of him to come so early. Maybe Kit will bring some croissants in with the drinks. If he doesnât, I wonât offer. I canât think about anything apart from the dead woman. Who is she?Does anybody know or care that sheâs been murdered, apart from me?
âIâve been seeing a homeopath for the past six months. Iâve got a couple of minor health problems, nothing serious.â Was there any need to tell him that? I stop short of adding that the problems relate to my emotional health, and that my homeopath is also a counsellor. My desire to evade the truth makes me angry â with myself, Kit, Sam K, everyone. Thereâs nothing shameful about needing to talk to somebody.
Then why are you ashamed?
âAlice â thatâs my homeopath â she suggested I talk to Simon Waterhouse. She saidâ¦â
Donât say it. Youâll prejudice him against you
.
âGo on.â Sam K is doing his very best to look kind and unthreatening.
I decide to reward his efforts with an honest answer. âShe said he was like no other policeman. She said heâd believe the unbelievable, if it was true. And it
is
true. I saw a dead woman in that room. I donât know why itâ¦why she wasnât there any more by the time Kit went and looked. I canât explain it, but that doesnât mean there isnât an explanation. There must be one.â
Sam K nods. His face is unreadable. Maybe he makes a point of encouraging mad people. If he thinks Iâm mad, I wish heâd say it straight out:
Youâre a nutter, Mrs Bowskill
. I told him to call me Connie, but I donât think he wants to. Since I said it, he hasnât called me anything.
âWhere is Simon?â I ask. When I rang his mobile last night, his recorded voice told me that he was unavailable â not for how long, or why â and gave a number to ring in an emergency: Sam Kâs number, as it turned out.
âHeâs on his honeymoon.â
âOh.â He didnât tell me he was getting married. No reason why he would, I suppose. âWhen will he be back?â
âHeâs gone for a fortnight.â
âIâm sorry I rang you at 2 a.m.,â I say. âI should have waited till the morning, butâ¦Kit had gone back to sleep, and I couldnât just do nothing. I had to tell someone what Iâd seen.â
A