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sun on my skin.  All that had changed. 
    And I didn’t fear icy water. 
    I didn’t fear darkness. 
    Before I had changed I would never have slept in the woods alone, or not even with friends – I would have lain awake all night listening to the sounds of the forest – scared of discovery, of wild animals, of ghosts.  Now, I reflected, was there anything more scary than what I’d become?
    I dived into the water, not scared of hitting the bottom, not scared of dying.  A part of me was already dead.  If I ‘died’ now, what of it?  It would keep others safe. 
    It would be my retribution. 
    But I didn’t die, nor did I even hit the bottom.  I glided through the clear water, then drifted to the surface, in no hurry, taking in the sounds of the stream’s currents and eddies, small rocks being moved by the motion, fish swimming nearby.  Then I broke through in to the night air and took a deep breath, smelling the leafy trees, the autumn crunch and coolness. 
    I sighed.  If only I had someone here to share this experience with.  How hard would it be to find the right person?  And how could I tell if they liked me, for being me, when whatever chemicals I gave off as a vampire drew people in?  I thought, and thought, but couldn’t come up with a solution.  I decided I’d have to accept that couldn’t be the case.  It would be my choice.  The person I choose probably wouldn’t have much say in the matter, they would be confounded by my scent, or something.  I’d just have to try and make sure I didn’t eat them.
    I swam to the side and lathered myself up with soap, then plunged back under the water.  Thinking, and trying not to, trying to let the water wash away my worries.  When I was all done I stepped out and let the breeze tickle at my skin, before picking up my towel.  I wrapped myself up, smothered my hair in conditioner, and then got to work with the brush.  It took a long time, hours, to get the tangles out.  By the time I was done it was nearly dawn, time to hunt before my daytime slumber.
    I woke up as night time approached.  How was I to go about finding a man when I couldn’t come out in the day?  It’s not as though many men wondered the woods at night…. 
    A campsite maybe?  The problem with that was summer had passed, and such places would surely be deserted by now.  But I decided it was worth a try. 
    After making a little effort to improve my appearance I packed my bag and put it on my back.  I figured I’d be finding somewhere new to spend the day.  I went on a big hunt as I had to be fulfilled before I approached a human, I couldn’t take the risk otherwise.  I set my mind on a deer, my newly discovered favourite.  Each animal tasted different, some far nicer than others, and a deer had such a lovely wild energy.  This infused into its blood, making it taste sweet and wholesome and filling.  Of course their size was also a bonus. 
    I tuned into my senses, expanding, experiencing the forest around me and the life within it.  There were some perks to this new existence, it wasn’t all lonesome despair.  The joy of feeling in touch with your surroundings, the thrill of finding an animal and drinking its blood – these were exquisite things – and I allowed myself to enjoy them.  I heard one soft heart racing, then another, then another, but I listened further afield, expanding further, becoming one with the woodland, and there in the distance I heard an array of deep thuds – not deer, but a herd of cows.  I had come to learn most animals by the sound of their heartbeats alone.  I decided a cow, or three, although not as tasty as a deer, would certainly do the trick.  I stashed my bag in a hollow, at the bottom of a familiar tree, and followed the reassuring sound of life.
     
     

Chapter 5
     
     
     
     
    I was soon on the edge of a field, and like other predators, I went for the weakest of the pack.  I chose a cow dozing on all fours, near the edge