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invitations and put together a guest list,” Evelyn said. She made this announcement right out of the blue as though we had been having a discussion about my wedding. We’d known each other long enough for me to understand that she had been busy in a spirited interior monologue while I was in the shower.
    Yero and Evelyn both came from huge families while I only had Asha and a few friends. “Would you like to invite your kinfolk?” I asked.
    â€œJust my mother if you don’t mind, sweetheart.”
    â€œOf course I don’t.”
    I knew that what Evelyn really wanted was an invitation to help me with every detail of my upcoming nuptials, but it was something I really wanted to do with Asha and I didn’t know how to say so without hurting her feelings. So I just quietly looked at the dozens of blown-up pictures that covered my walls. Mama was in every single one of them.
    â€œSweetheart, are you sure you don’t want to get in touch with them?”
    Them. Mama’s family. The clan who had turned their collective backs on Mama long ago because she refused to give up on Asha’s drug addicted father. The clan who had come to her funeral, offered me and Asha a home, and then dismissed us when I decided to move in with my own father and Asha decided to keep our old apartment to remain independent.
    â€œNo. Something might go wrong. It is supposed to be the happiest day of my life and I won’t let anyone take that away from me.”
    Evelyn stood up for a moment to adjust the chair she was sitting in. “How about an engagement party? We could have them all over for a two-hour affair so they can meet Yero. Any issues that come up would be dealt with there, and then everyone would be calm on your wedding day.”
    â€œEvelyn, it’s not like Asha and I were accustomed to being around them when Mama was alive. It would be more of a getting-to-know-each-other gathering than an actual reunion.”
    â€œSo, what’s wrong with that?” Evelyn asked calmly.
    Evelyn started parting my locks in small sections, oiling the scalp as she went. “I just don’t have the energy.”
    â€œIf everything goes well then the children you have with Yero will have a nice extended family to love them. Children can never get enough love.”
    â€œI’m sorry, Evelyn, but if Mama was alive, she wouldn’t go running after them. I don’t want to either and Asha will hit the ceiling if I even suggest it.”
    â€œAsha lives in fear of everything. Commitment. Forgiveness. True intimacy. I taught you better than that.”
    I said nothing.
    Evelyn sighed. “Okay, sweetheart. I respect your decision.”
    I searched my mind for something other than the wedding to discuss. “My graduation ceremony is going to be held at Madison Square Garden.”
    â€œOh, how wonderful! This is a year of many blessings for you, and I can’t think of anyone who deserves it more.”
    That’s what I liked about Evelyn. In spite of the fact that I’d nixed her idea of a Smith family reunion, she didn’t pout or press the issue. She always just wanted me to be happy.
    Evelyn massaged the oil into my scalp and patted the top of my head. “I’m finished. Would you like to go shoe shopping with me?”
    At any other time I would have grabbed my coat and joined her but the conversation about Mama’s family had made me a little sad. It was time to meditate. I needed to get silent inside so that my true inner voice could guide me.

Chapter 9
    ASHA
    S aundra is my heart but one of these days I’m going to tie her down, put some makeup on her face and do something with that hair. After that, I’ll shake her by the shoulders until her survival instinct kicks in and she decides to become the next Vera Wang. Imagine working four years for a fashion design degree and then using it to create clothes for people who can’t pay for them. What