Read The No-Cry Separation Anxiety Solution: Gentle Ways to Make Good-bye Easy from Six Months to Six Years for Free Online

the
    right times and in the right ways, you can teach him valuable life les-
    sons like these:
    • How to fi nd ways to control his emotions in diffi cult situations
    • How to handle his emotions about missing the people that he
    loves
    • How to know that people love him even when they are not
    with him
    • How to use positive self-talk to convince himself to do things
    even when he has worries
    • How to persist in unfamiliar or uncomfortable situations
    despite emotional challenges or fears
    • How to use past successes as evidence that he is capable of
    overcoming fears and forging ahead
    • How to accept that he is good company for himself
    All About Separation Anxiety in Early Childhood 15
    Emotions and Situations That Masquerade as
    Separation Anxiety
    A number of emotions and situations can make it seem that your
    child is suffering from separation anxiety because the symptoms are
    similar. It’s helpful to review the following list to determine if any of
    these situations fi t your child’s experiences. It is possible that your child could have both the described emotion and separation anxiety, but only you can determine the part that such situations play in your
    child’s case. It is easy to misread a child’s response, so you can make
    the most accurate determination by keeping an open mind.
    • Lifestyle changes. A change in a child’s way of life might bring
    about symptoms that appear to be separation anxiety but really aren’t.
    For example, while fear of sleeping alone can be a symptom of separa-
    tion anxiety, not all children who are afraid to sleep alone actually
    have separation anxiety. Children who have regularly co-slept with
    their parents or siblings may simply be accustomed to sleeping with
    another person and fi nd it unsettling when they are required to sleep
    alone. Ideas for moving from co-sleeping to independent sleep can be
    found on my websit e (www.nocrysolution.com) o r in any of my NoCry books on the topic of sleep.
    • Lack of experience or slow adaptation. If your child has never
    been left with a babysitter, never experienced a playdate, or had little
    exposure to new people, then these situations can rightly cause some
    uncertainty. In these cases, you are dealing with a lack of familiarity
    rather than separation anxiety, and practice plus patience during the
    adjustment is what is most required.
    • Shyness. When your preschooler hides his face in your side
    and refuses to say a polite “hello” to your friend, your toddler turns
    away from the cheerful cashier offering a free sticker, or your baby
    cries when an unfamiliar aunt tries to pick her up, you may attribute
    this behavior to separation anxiety or stranger anxiety. However, it
    may just be a shy child who is uncomfortable around new people or
    who is more reserved or slower to warm up in social situations.
    • Fear. A child who clings tightly to you if you try to leave him
    alone in a dark bedroom, a toddler who refuses to leave your side to
    climb on the playground toys, or an older child who refuses to join
    16 The No-Cry Separation Anxiety Solution
    a sports team or ride his bike to school—these are all examples of
    children who may have fears that appear to be separation anxiety.
    Fear of the dark, monsters, the unknown, or being hurt can make it
    appear that your child doesn’t want to separate from you, but what
    he’s looking for is protection from the object of his trepidation—and
    that protection is you. By helping him fi nd ways to feel safe as he ventures out into the world, you can help him overcome these fears.
    • Worry. Your child may hear a news story about an airplane
    crash, a missing person, a war, or another disaster. He might talk to a
    friend whose parents recently divorced or whose grandparent passed
    away. At these times, he may suddenly fi nd that he can’t control his
    worries about you when you are out of sight—so his solution is to stay
    by you at all times. If this is