Read The No-Cry Separation Anxiety Solution: Gentle Ways to Make Good-bye Easy from Six Months to Six Years for Free Online Page B

your
    child and must be addressed now?
    There’s a fl ip side to outside infl uences as well. It comprises the
    other half of the population, who feels you are making the wrong
    decision when you address your child’s anxiety by doing what’s neces-
    sary to move her forward. Once you have decided it’s time to let your
    child take a separation step, whether it’s going to camp, a playdate,
    or daycare, you should never accept guilt-infl icting comments that
    encouraging your child’s separation is a bad thing or that you are
    being selfi sh or neglectful! It is a wonderful thing to help your child
    become more independent. And it’s great to be able to go on a date
    night, take a class, go to work, have lunch with friends, or use the
    bathroom all by yourself, and leave your child in the care of another
    All About Separation Anxiety in Early Childhood 19
    loving, competent adult. Your child can blossom while in the care of
    someone other than you. There is an added benefi t for your child—
    the value of learning how to interact with many different kinds of
    people outside your immediate family.
    There are no cookie-cutter solutions to any parenting problem,
    including separation anxiety. I will provide an assortment of ideas for
    you to choose from for each situation. Pick one, pick two, or combine
    a variety of ideas to create a personalized plan for your child. Then
    adjust and modify your plan as you go until you fi nd the right solu-
    tion. That’s how the process of raising children works best.
    With this important concept in mind, let’s start with a crucial
    principle that I urge you to keep as a guiding light throughout the
    rest of this book—and for that matter, the rest of your life. This con-
    cept can be applied to almost any parenting decision you’ll face from
    now through grandchildren, and even your great- grandchildren.
    The No-Cry Process for Peaceful Problem Solving
    There are no absolute rules about raising children and no guar-
    antees for any parenting techniques. Raise your children as
    you choose to raise them in ways that are right for you. Within
    the range of your comfort zone, modify your approach for
    each of your children based on their needs, personality, and
    temperament.
    Address only those problems that you believe are true
    problems, and don’t create or imagine problems because some-
    one else thinks you have them, no matter if that person is family,
    friend, or expert.
    Keep your problems in perspective and take ample time to
    plot the best course of action. Solve your problems by analyzing
    possible solutions and choosing those that are right for you and
    your family. Know that there is rarely one right answer, and often
    you must take multiple routes to get to the best destination.
    Read, listen, and learn constantly, but always sift what you
    learn through the strainer of your own personal beliefs and par-
    enting philosophy.
    20 The No-Cry Separation Anxiety Solution
    Mother-Speak
    “Luke was a mega-attached baby. I couldn’t leave him with a
    babysitter, couldn’t leave his side at the park, or couldn’t leave
    the room without him melting down. Heck, I couldn’t even
    use the bathroom without having him by my side! People told
    me I was being oversensitive to his needs and I should let
    him grow up—which seemed ridiculous to me. Since when is
    it necessary for a baby to be in a rush to grow up? Especially
    when so much of what I’ve done in his life has been to create
    a strong bond between us. That bond is worth its weight in
    gold to me.

    “Yet I still found I wanted to have a dinner out with adults
    or go for a jog without pushing the stroller. I didn’t know how
    to achieve this without Luke crying. So I fi gured I’d go to the
    No-Cry expert for advice, and I’m so glad I did!
    “Since I’ve been working on the ideas you gave me, I’ve
    changed my approach. I’ve been patient and responsive to his
    cues, but I’ve also started giving him space