Read The Memory Child for Free Online Page B

don’t even know his itinerary.” I bit my lip. “I don’t even know if he’s seen any of the pictures I’ve sent him o f Grace.”
    Nina placed her cup down on the tray. I noticed the way she turned slowly toward me. I wondered whether she hurt her bac k somehow.
    “You have? Taken pictures?”
    I nodded.
    “I love taking photos of her. I should work on her baby album as well. I saw it this morning in her room. I’d almost forgotten a bout it.”
    “So did I.” Nina’s voice was quiet. She glanced my way, a quick, fur tive look.
    “Maybe”—I smiled at Nina—“that will be my afternoon project. We could sit outside in the back and go through it together. The first few days after Grace’s birth are a bit fuzzy, so I’ll need you to help fill in the blanks.”
    “I thought maybe we could go for a walk today. Get some exercise with this fresh air. Remember, you wanted to start runnin g again?”
    Nina had been quick to ignore my idea, I noticed.
    “I’m not quite ready for a walk. I’d rather just relax today with Grace and work on the bab y album.”
    Nina sighed. “I really do wish you’d consider a walk. We can work on the album af terward.”
    The thought of taking Grace out in public, on a walk where everyone would gawk and want to touch her, hold her, breathe their germs on her…no. It was too soon.
    One step at a time. But they had to be steps I was willing to take. Not ones Nina forc ed on me.
    I knew she was worried about me. About my mental state. I overheard her last night on the phone. She was concerned that I was withdrawing and using Grace as an excuse. Except that wa sn’t true.
    Was I withdrawing? Yes. Of course I was. I could feel it. It was as if my brain couldn’t handle the person I used to be. That Diane was a workaholic and this Diane was a mother. I wasn’t sure how to merge the two identities. But was it a cause for alarm? Hardly. This had to be normal for most working mothers. The idea of having only a short period of time to adjust to having a child was ri diculous.
    And I wasn’t ready to make the change. Plain an d simple.
    “Oh, look, you have guests.” Nina’s voice perked up as she stood.
    Chad and Natasha, our neighbors two doors down, were headed our way. Their arms were linked while Natasha carried a basket. I liked them. Both Brian and I thought they were very real and personable. I even thought that Natasha and I might develop a friendship of sorts.
    My hands shook as I sat there.
    “Diane, come and say hi,” Nina said over her shoulder. Her voice was soft, so as not to carry.
    I gave a small shake of my head and swallowed past the lump in my throat. I didn’t want to say hi to anyone. I didn’t want to converse, chat, or make any kind of small talk. I didn’t want to have to explain anything to anyone about anything and I knew that is what I’d have to do. Where is Brian? How is Grace? We haven’t seen you ou t lately.
    This was my life and no one else’s. I didn’t need busybodies i n my way.
    I jumped up from my chair and grabbed the bab y monitor.
    “I hear Grace. Say hi for me.” I rushed past her, and the screen door slammed b ehind me.
    I sank down on the bottom step of the stairs leading to the second floor, hidden away from prying eyes but close enough to listen to the conv ersation.
    “We just…wanted to drop these off and see if there was anything we could do for Diane,” Nat asha said.
    “Thank you. I’m sure she’ll love this,” Nina spoke up. She knew I remained close by.
    “This has to be such a difficult time for her.” Natasha’s sweet voice held a note of sympathy that hi t me hard.
    Why would she feel sorry for me? We barely knew each other. And why was this such a difficult time for me? Because Brian was away?
    “Thank you. I know she’ll love them.” Nina repeated her earlier statement.
    There was a moment of silence. I straightened up to look out the window and caught Chad’s gaze. There was a look in his