Read The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex for Free Online

me come to grips with what I have “down there.” The final dismantling of all my negative fantasies about my body came when I found myself with a lover who totally reveled in my pussy, who loved and praised it in every aspect. He kept asking me to open my legs so he could admire me. A thousand and one ugly lies shattered, and I have since become a proud priestess of the pussy! If I could ever add one thing to human sexuality books for adolescents, it would be photos or illustrations of lots of vulvas. There are snake-oil doctors out there performing labia reductions on countless emotionally suffering women, and it is an outrage! Not only is my vulva, and all its components, beautiful, it works like a souped-up BMW!
    Men can also harbor less than enthusiastic feelings about their genitals, with anxiety over penis size being most common. Yet the idea that sexual satisfaction is directly related to penis size is a ridiculous myth. For one thing, everybody has a different preference when it comes to penetration, which minimizes the likelihood of a “perfect fit.” For another, sexual satisfaction depends on communication, generosity, and a whole-body approach to pleasure—not on genital anatomy.
My sex life improved the day I realized that size wasn’t the only thing that a partner was interested in and that it could be forgotten in place of getting her to the bliss that was possible from so many other things.
    If you feel negative or ambivalent about your genitals, perhaps you too just need to familiarize yourself with your own anatomy. Sit down in the nude with a mirror and the following chapter on anatomy, and explore. Masturbate—this is an excellent way to appreciate your genitals; it feels great and can have a direct impact on self-esteem!
I think that my most memorable masturbation experience was when I was learning about how I looked and what made me feel good. I watched myself masturbating while looking in a mirror I had near my bed.

    Attitudes about Sex and Pleasure
    Just as we should question media messages about body type, so too should we question the messages we receive about sex and pleasure. Whether it’s a politician telling you to “just say no” to sex, a support group urging you to admit that you’re a “sex addict,” or a teacher warning that “boys are only after one thing,” you’ve got to stay on your toes to keep your sexual self-esteem intact. We’re exposed to negative messages at every turn—from parents, religious institutions, friends, media, sex “experts,” medical professionals, lovers. Internalizing these messages can leave you feeling—depending on the script—inadequate, oversexed, presumptuous, promiscuous, or ignorant.
Early on, young men would always express shock that was half excited and half scornful of my powerful desire and aggressive sexuality. It has taken me a long time to get over feeling like my passion is bad, and I still fight it with my whole being.
     
My mother and my old religion, Mormonism, really affected my sexual development. My mom always had a sort of negative outlook on sex. She never actually said, “Sex is bad. Avoid it, because that’s all they want from you,” but I felt it from her, and I never heard her say the reverse, “Sex is beautiful.”
     
I’ve been sexually active since I was 15, so a huge change for me has been just claiming my own desire, learning to communicate what my needs are, what I require of a partner, etc. Our culture doesn’t always allow this of women, and especially as a woman growing up under a Republican administration, in the deep South, with conservative parents, sexuality and sexual freedom weren’t exactly subjects of household conversation.
    Thanks to Puritan and Victorian ancestors, many of us have inherited the belief that abstinence and self-control are the highest virtues. As a result, we sometimes question whether we even deserve sexual pleasure. If we answer yes, the next question becomes: How much