Read The First Time is the Hardest: An Austin Brothers Novella (Austin Brothers Series Book 1) for Free Online

yet.”
    “You mean you were awake this whole damn time, and you never said anything?” I said incredulously.
    “I was thinking.”
    “Thinking? About what?”
    “My parents. Lucas …” He hesitated. “You.”
    “Me?” My heart started to race as the air grew thick around me.
    Ryan didn’t answer, and silence filled the space. He slid his hand to the edge of the sheet and pulled it back, shuffling to the far side of his bed.
    I stared at the empty space, my heart pounding against my chest. This was wrong. I knew it, knew that nothing good could come out of crossing this line, but it didn’t stop me from slipping out of my bed and climbing in beside him. Ryan’s arm went around me, drawing me to his side, and I tucked my head against him. I couldn’t explain what was happening. I didn’t want to think about it. I just wanted to be.
    Be here, at this moment, with Ryan.
    I wanted the feeling of intense loneliness since taking Carol Gennery’s call to evaporate. And just for a moment, I wanted to feel safe.
    “Why does this feel right?” Ryan’s voice was shaky as if he was thinking all of the things rushing through my head. But he’d been brave enough to say what I couldn’t.
    What I didn’t want to admit.
    Nestling further into his side, I didn’t reply. I couldn’t, not yet. Things were too raw, too confusing, and I needed time to process.
    Maybe in the light of the day things would seem clearer.
    ~
    A thick wall of heat pressed down on me as my eyes fluttered open, and I gasped for breath. Sunlight streamed through the gap in the curtains, and I blinked, trying to find my bearings.
    And then I felt him.
    Ryan.
    Pressed behind me, he’d thrown his arm over me protectively. Possessively. One of his legs had slipped between my own.
    Oh, God.
    He mumbled behind me, and I froze, paralyzed in his arms. But his breathing evened out, and I knew he was still sleeping. As I tried to maneuver out of his arms without waking him, pain ricocheted through my skull, and I groaned quietly. As if waking up in Ryan’s bed wasn’t enough to deal with, I had the hangover from hell.
    When I looked down and found I was still fully clothed, I breathed a sigh of relief. At least nothing had happened. We had simply taken comfort in one another in our time of need. That was all it was.
    I cleaned up in the bathroom, trying to figure out my next move. I could stick around for the awkward morning pleasantries, or I could try to find my way back to Radeno. Then it hit me. Ryan had said he had texted Tanner.
    Slipping back into the room, I found Ryan’s cell phone and checked his messages. Sure enough, there was one from Tanner. But, shit, I had no clue where we were. I scanned the motel room and found a welcome brochure with the address. I added it to the text message and hit send. Placing Ryan’s cell back on the nightstand, I watched him sleep for a few more seconds before slipping out of the room.
    Tanner arrived fifteen minutes later. His face was red with anger as he stopped the car and got out to greet me.
    “Don’t, Tan, okay? My head feels ready to explode, and there’s a good chance I might puke at any moment.”
    “He got you drunk?”
    “Ugh,” I groaned, ducking around him and making a beeline for his car.
    Tanner climbed back inside and glanced over at me. “There’s water in the glove compartment. You look like shit.”
    “Thanks, big brother. Thanks a lot.”
    “You and he didn’t-”
    “Tanner!”
    “What? I care about you, and whatever the hell this is going on with you two isn’t healthy. He’s Lucas’s brother, Mila. Older and more delinquent brother, might I add.”
    I turned my head to the window and pressed it against the cool glass. I didn’t need this from him. Not right now. I already felt enough guilt. Only for what, I wasn’t sure. Tanner might have had a point about Ryan being Lucas’s brother, but it hadn’t felt good to just up and leave him. But I couldn’t be there when he