Read The First Time is the Hardest: An Austin Brothers Novella (Austin Brothers Series Book 1) for Free Online Page B

sweatpants and a tank top and stared at my bed. Mom must have made it up yesterday when I disappeared with Ryan. I wanted nothing more than to slip underneath the sheets and close my eyes, shutting out all the thoughts running through my head. But she’d been right. I had to try to get on with life. Even though it would be hard and I wasn’t ready to let go—to say my final goodbye—I needed to put on a brave face and live.
    Even if it was a lie.
    “We thought you’d be sleeping?” Mom said as I entered the living room. She and Dad sat in their favorite chairs, watching the television.
    “I took a shower, and it woke me up.” I stood in the doorway, my arms wrapped around my waist, wondering if things would ever feel normal again. If people would ever stop looking at me the way Mom and Dad were right now. The pity in their eyes made me want to run. But I didn’t. I inched into the room.
    “Tanner left?”
    “He had to get back. Beth needed him back at their apartment.”
    “Okay. What are you doing? Why aren’t you at work, Dad?”
    Dad cleared his throat and leaned forward ready to speak, but Mom beat him to it. “Well, we thought it would be good for you to have us around. You know, until things settle down.” She glanced back and forth between me and my father, and I caught the subtle nod he gave her.
    Was it possible that Mom was actually worried about putting her foot in it again?
    “I took some time off. We’re all yours, sweetheart.”
    “Dad,” I said taking a seat opposite him. “You didn’t need to do that. I’m okay. I’ll be okay. I just need time.”
    “We know. But we’re Austins, and well, Austins stick together.”
    My lips drew into a thin line. I knew he was only trying to make me feel better, but they made it sound like I needed around-the-clock care. I wasn’t sick. I was mourning. My heart was broken. And what I needed was for everyone to back the hell off and let me deal with things the way I needed to deal with things.
    “You should go back to work, Dad. Really.”
    “Well, I don’t know, Mila Jean, your mom thinks-”
    “I insist, Dad. I’m going to speak to Betty and see if she has any shifts I can pick up. Just a couple a week to keep me busy while I sort things out.”
    And decide what to do with my life.
    Lucas and I had planned to return to Radeno after graduation and take the summer off before we moved to the city and found an apartment and jobs. But now? Now, moving to Houston seemed like a dream … or a nightmare. It wasn’t an option—at least, not yet.
    “Mila Jean, baby, don’t you think that-”
    “No, Mom.” I leaped to my feet and rolled back my shoulders. “I need to keep busy. I know Betty, and I know the bar. It’ll be good for me. In fact, I’ll stop by later this evening and ask if she’s hiring.”
    I heard Dad shut Mom down as I left the living room and headed for the kitchen in search of chips and soda. The shower had cleared my head a little, but maybe I was still drunk. The idea of asking Betty if there were any shifts open at The Lasso wasn’t even on my radar five minutes ago, but I couldn’t stand it. The way my own parents looked at me was as if they didn’t know what to do with me. And maybe getting out of the house a couple of times a week wouldn’t be a bad thing.
    Nothing could be worse than being here all the damn time, could it?
    ~
    The door to The Lasso swung open, and I stepped inside. Immediately, I wanted the ground to crack open and swallow me whole. Every head in the place trained in my direction. I could feel their pity, their judgment, and their scrutiny. Most of these people had attended Lucas's funeral and had witnessed me fleeing the service like some crazed woman.
    “Well, if it isn't Mila Jean Austin. Get over here, darlin’, and give this old woman some sugar. It's been too darn long.” Betty beckoned me over to the side of the bar and relief slowly replaced the urge to turn back. Heads returned to what