place they met in order to re-create the magic.
Thereâs also the possibility of Spontaneous Agreement. This occurs mostly among couples who have been together a long time; maybe one day theyâre doing the dishes and it becomes simultaneously obvious that this is The One. Charlotte turns to Miranda and says, âWhy donât we get married?â Miranda says, âI canât think of any reason not to. Is it my turn to wash or dry?â We find this occurrence kind of charming, but also suggest that if you find yourselves in such a situation, you might want to mark the occasion in a romantic way. Cook a special meal, unplug all media, and spend the evening in. Go shopping together for engagement rings if youâre going to wear them, or buy a commemorative object for your household that youâve both been wanting. (How about that antique bed youâve been eyeing, or a set of new sheets?) Steal away for the weekend. Go to a ballgame and arrange to have
Congratulations
flashed on the scoreboard. Just do whatever it is you most enjoy doing together.
Itâs also possible that when the question is finally posed, your loved one will say, âWhat, are you crazy?â or âCome back next year and ask me again.â If this happens, donât despair, and donât give up! Fran told us that she tried to get Sandyto marry her for three years before Sandy finally agreed to say, âI do.â That was seven years ago, and theyâre still happily married.
At any rate, weâre going to proceed with the assumption that however youâve gotten there, the answer at this point is âYes.â
Always Ring Twice?
Judy, sweetheart, youâre engaged? Congratulations! Best wishes! Oh, I know youâll be so happy together. I remember when your uncle and I got engaged. I felt so hopeful, so fresh. So sheâs a nice girl? Letâs see the engagement ring! What?!? No ring? She didnât buy you a ring? You young lesbians are so modern.â¦
Heaven knows you donât need an engagement ring to enter into the (Not the) Engagement. Traditionally, in the straight world, a man proposes with engagement ring in hand, and when his beloved accepts, he immediately slips the ring onto her finger. However, an engagement ring doesnât say âI owe you one wedding ringâ; rather, it is symbolic of your intentions. If youâve always wanted that rock on the fourth finger of your left hand, and youâre both willing to spring for it, hereâs your chance. Itâs not uncommon to see two lesbians wearing matching diamond rings these days; in fact, engagement rings are becoming popular with gay men as well. It really doesnât matter what kind of a ring you wear, unless itâs important to you that the general public is aware of your engagement.
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DO YOUR DIAMOND HOMEWORK
Thanks to Leonardo DiCaprioâs movie
Blood Diamond,
more attention is now paid to the origin of diamonds, which in the 1990s were being used to finance wars in places like Sierra Leone and Angola. In 2002, the UN adopted a system called the Kimberley Process Certification Scheme to end the practice of diamond trading for dubious means. Diamonds that have been mined and shipped in a humane, legitimate way have a Kimberley Process certificate, which your jeweler should be able to provide. Buying from a well-established, reputable jeweler also helps, or you can shop at a retailer like Brilliant Earth, which specializes in conflict-free jewelry.
One more thing: there are many different factors that can make the bling more expensive, but being certified conflict-free is not one of them.
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If neither one of you plans on wearing an engagement ring but youâre sentimental, you could get a beautiful ring box from a jeweler and put one or more of the following items inside: a pipe-cleaner ring; a little slip of paper with the words, âWill you marry me?â; or a tiny print of your