The Book of Awesome

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Book: Read The Book of Awesome for Free Online
Authors: Neil Pasricha
clench your eyes, squeeze your brain, and pop right back into it.
    • Take a break. Your body woke up early because it felt pretty rested, so the extra sleep is just its way of saying “Go ahead, take a long lunch.” People, this is like a snow day without the shoveling—just a big puddle of free time to soak up guilt-free.
    Yes, waking up before your alarm clock and realizing you’ve got lots of sleep time left is a great thing. Sure, your heart pulses and your brain convulses , but you quickly realize there’s a long time to go before morning.
    So snore on and snooze strong, my friends.
    AWESOME!

When the socks from the dryer all match up perfectly
    Peeling apart that static-covered clump of socks is tense.
    First you yank them from the dryer and dump the hot haystack on the bed. Then you start pairing up the easy ones—reconnecting brown argyle husbands with brown argyle wives and red-striped brothers with red-striped sisters. It’s free and easy love all around.
    But then it happens.
    You hit that big pile of white or black leftover socks and matching gets tough. You’re inspecting patterns and heel placements, checking textures and fades, all the while hoping, just hoping, that everything will work out fine.
    As you approach the last few socks you do a quick mental count to see if you’ve got an even number of socks left on the bedspread.
    If you do, and if they all match up perfectly, then you’re loving it. There are no missing tube socks or disappearing dress socks. Everything is locked and loaded, so you just put them all together, take that basket of well-worn lovers to the dresser, and dump them all in the drawer with a big smile on your face.
    AWESOME!

When there’s still time left in the parking meter when you pull up
    Say some kind and generous soul left seven unused minutes on the parking meter and left you with three big choices.
    First of all, you could go with the No Dollar Dash . This is where you do some quick mental math and figure you can run all your errands before the time expires. If you can grab a slice of pizza and pick up the dry cleaning that quickly, then go man, just go.
    Then again, maybe No Dollar Dashing is too stressful for you. You’re afraid of the parking ticket, so you go instead with the Tight Quarter Squeeze . Here’s where you plug a warm quarter in there because you’re sure seventeen minutes will be good enough. Hey, you’re still thankful for the seven free minutes but figure it’s worth buying yourself a brisk walk in place of a run.
    Lastly, you could go Slot Machine . You’re one of those folks who just don’t trust themselves. The parking ticket must be avoided at all costs, even if it means dumping an extra couple dollars in the meter. You buy yourself a big, warm security blanket in case you get held up somewhere.
    And now, even though most of us would like to think of ourselves as laid-back No Dollar Dash kind of folks, let’s be honest. We love the Slot Machines , because they’re the ones who leave us with seven minutes left the next time. And if it wasn’t for the Tight Quarter Squeezers and their perfect parking planning, getting seven minutes of free time would just become no big deal.
    So by holding hands and joining together, we all make that world go right on round.
    AWESOME!

The smell of crayons
    Crack open a fresh box and get ready for a neuron-splattering head rush.
    AWESOME!

Peeling an orange in one shot
    It ain’t easy, but when you finally succeed in peeling an orange into only one big, swirly peel , it can be one of the greatest fruit-eating experiences of your life. Here’s how to make the magic happen:
    1. Pick a winner. No two oranges are created equal, so it’s important to inspect your fruit before you pick it. Smart money says grab a juicy one that’s been ripe for a day or two and has plenty of loose, saggy peel hanging around just begging for a big thumb puncture right in the gut. If you have trouble, just remember this

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