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bedsheets
    You know the feeling: You just spent five minutes chasing all the corners of the elastic form-fitting bottom sheet around your bed and then laid and tucked the top sheet tightly into the mattress . You found some pillow covers in the linen closet, squeezed and shook your pillows in there, put your blanket over all of it, took a deep breath, and then dove right into the fresh, cold, mothball-smelling sheets.
    New sheets are great because they don’t smell like The Sleeping You , with your armpit hair all squishing around in there all night, your drool leaking all over the pillows, and your crusty old feet flaking off into little piles of dead skin shavings at the foot of the bed. And let’s not forget the hot farts you pop out when you’re sleeping too. Don’t deny it! We’re all disgusting when we’re asleep, and new bed sheets are great for letting us temporarily escape our own filth.
    Really, only one thing can add to that new bedsheet feeling and that’s when it’s your first seasonal sleep in thin cotton summer sheets or thick linen winter sheets. As you close your eyes softly, crickets chirping outside your window, moonlight and tree branches shadowdancing on the walls, you know right then and there: It’s going to be a good night.
    AWESOME!

Using hotel lobby bathrooms when you’re out walking around
    Anyone else out there have a bladder the size of a walnut? One that fills up after a few spoons of soup and is at attention, ready to drain any time of the day? If you’re afraid of getting a drink before the movie or having a glass of water anytime after 6 p.m. , then you’re with me. My small and weak-bladdered brothers and sisters of the world, unite!
    See, we got issues, me and you. We’re terrible on airplanes. We never get to experience the 7-Eleven Super Big Gulp. And maybe worst of all, we’re always forcing our friends to help us find public washrooms when we’re walking or driving anywhere, which really drives them crazy. Sorry, friends.
    If you’re with me on this one, then you know these searches for decent public washrooms really are a fine art. Those perfect places are always out there, but you really need to be careful. With that warning let’s discuss the Top Five Places to Pee When You’re Out :
    5. Gas stations. Easy prey for the worst kind of fly-by urinators—those who don’t live nearby or plan on coming back. These people do not respect bathroom facilities. We know this from racist scrawls on bathroom walls and the mistaking of floors for toilets. Bad ones smell rancid. Good ones smell like a flatbed truck full of urinal pucks sitting on a garbage dump. But hey, sometimes they appear like mirages on the horizon, and at least you know they’re almost always open and have a toilet. So we give you Number 5, gas stations. Thanks for coming out.
    4. Bus or train stations. Bus or train station bathrooms are just like gas stations but with one major difference: maintenance. Whereas gas stations are run by individual owner-operators or a couple of teenagers working the midnight shift, bus or train stations are generally run by formal transit authorities or governments who employ people just to clean the place up , because otherwise they’d look bad or get kicked off the board of transportation or something. The other plus to bus or train stations is size. They usually have rows of stalls or urinals instead of one. Very little chance of having to wait. So thanks, bus or train station bathroom. You’re there when we need you.
    3. Restaurants or coffee shops. Okay, we’re starting to get into decent territory now. Maybe an extra ply on the toilet paper or perhaps a comic strip pinned up over the urinal. Restaurant and coffee shop bathrooms are much better, but they are a little hard to get at—you’ve either got to buy something or pretend you’re looking for someone before running to the back of the place and then taking off. Care and delicacy is required. Not for the faint