and I felt like she was in a rush to leave my dadâs memory behind in that dusty apartment. Thatâs when my brother, Derrick, joined the army and never came back, leaving me and Hadiah here with my mother by ourselves.
And no, my dad wasnât the best, but he was mine, and up until he died he was always here when we came home; he always seemed interested in what we did and what we had to do. But, as I sat there with my sister in that lonely house, with tears sitting at the base of my eyes, I realized more than ever that all we have in this world is one another.
I watched my sister eat because with tears dancing on my tongue, I couldnât put a morsel of food in my mouth. âIâm going to bed,â I said to her.
âMe too.â She cleared the table and then looked at the chore chart that hung on the pantry door. âTonight is your night to wash the dishes.â
âWell, itâll have to wait until tomorrow because Iâm tired.â
I rose from my chair, practically ran into my room, and as soon as I closed the door tears slid down my face. I looked at the clock and counted the hours that had passed since me and Ameen fell out. I couldnât fight it anymore. I needed to call Ameen at least onceâ¦yeah, thatâs itâ¦only once, and if he doesnât answer then forget it. I definitely wonât be sweatinâ him.
I picked up my phone and called him only to get his voice mail. I swallowed the ache in my chest and tried my best to make it go away.
I changed into my silk pajamas, cut the radio on, and laid in my bed. Then it hit me, if I called Ameen one more time, he just might answerâ¦so I didâ¦and nothing. I hung up. A few seconds later I called againâ¦. No answer. Forget it, Iâm done. If he doesnât call me then, oh well, his loss.
I laid still for a few moments, and then I turned back over and looked at the phone. Okayâ¦maybe just one more time and heâll answer. One more time ended up being a thousand times, and the last time I called the phone didnât even ring, his voice mail simply picked up. Which could only mean one thing; heâd turned his phone off.
I felt so stupid.
I returned to staring at the ceiling, and the last thing I remembered before I fell asleep was the radio playing slow jams and wondering how long it would take to put my life back together again.
Â
âZsa-Zsa La-Shae Fields, get out that bed!â stunned me out of my sleep. Instantly I sat straight up. I felt like Iâd been fighting a war instead of coming around from being asleep. My eyes felt heavy, and my heart was racing. I couldnât see clearly, but I could swear I heard my motherâs voice.
âAnd I mean get up right now!â Now I knew for sure that was my mother. I still couldnât see clearly, but I could see well enough to read the electric red numbers on my alarm clock, which said 2:00 AM . I didnât respond to my motherâs invasive voice because obviously, unless this was an extreme emergency, the chick was trippinâ. I grabbed my pillow, snuggled under my blanket, and closed my eyes.
âI know you heard me!â She snatched the covers off of me and then yanked the pillow.
Now it was on. I turned over and sat up. âAre you for real, cominâ in here like this?!â
âYou better shut your fresh mouth and get up to wash those dishes! It was your night to clean the kitchen and you just left it a mess!â She clinched her jaw. âI want you up and those dishes washed. Now!â She flicked the light on and I swore I went blind.
I fell straight back on the bed and prayed out loud. âLord Jesus, help me with this lady here because she isââ
âExcuse me?â
âGettinâ on my nerves!â I sat up. âWhy would you wake me at this time of the morning?â I looked her over. She still had on her dark brown and tan corrections officer uniform.
Elle Strauss, Lee Strauss