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still so soft.”
    Seductively, I straddled him. He held my waist and slowly pushed it back and forth. I searched his eyes for answers.
    He fumbled with my pants. I climbed off of him and pulled my jeans down. He shook his head. “You still got it.”
    He ripped his clothes off. “We staying down here?”
    As I led the way to my quarters, his nature boldly protruded from him. I was anxious to feel him. We entered my bedroom and he cupped my girls with his hands and massaged them. I fell to my knees. He kneeled in front of me and kissed my breasts. He stretched me out on the floor and asked, “Do you have any condoms?”
    I told him to get one from my nightstand. He quickly returned with a strip of three. Hopefully, he wasn’t planning on multiple rounds. It had been a long time since I could do that. He masterfully rolled the condom on as he stood over me, arousing me, making me anxious to feel him. Finally, he carefully spread my legs apart and playfully tantalized me. Pushing my hips upward to receive him, my body begged him to end my despair.
    Finally, he fully submerged. My eyes watered. I wrapped my arms around his body and welcomed him. Slowly, deeply, my first love glided inside of me. Hesitant breathing. Expectations. I raked his back. He kissed my face. Harmonious lovemaking landed me on cloud nine. I floated in the moment. Then, I came down. He lay on top of me, but I felt empty. I couldn’t speak. He was first to break the silence, saying, “I need some water.”
    I slid from beneath his moist body and he rolled on to his back. Though I thought I wanted this to happen, I instantly regretted the encounter. I sat up and slowly rose to my feet. How could I be so vulnerable?
    I took slow, concentrated steps to the kitchen. What the hell was I thinking? When I returned to the room, Scooter was lying in my bed with the remote control in his hand. I handed him the water and he flipped through the channels. He mumbled, “Thanks Tay-Bae.”
    For the water or the sex? I climbed in the bed beside him. I pulled the covers up to my chin. When I reached over to rub his arm, he didn’t reciprocate. I began to talk, but realized I had very little to say. We chatted about miscellaneous issues. He eventually dozed off. I sat there staring at the ceiling. Time swiftly escaped. Just as the sun rose, Scooter’s cell phone rang three or four times in a row. I fumed, because I knew the person on the other end had to be his girlfriend. Scooter squirmed. I folded my arms and replayed our night.
    Finally, he grabbed his phone and scrolled through the call log. The alarm clock buzzed. I jumped up and darted for the shower.
    As the water ran down my face, my tears blended in. It was as if Scooter came over to see if he could still hit it. After he achieved his goal, our communication down-shifted to neutral. I scrubbed my skin like a rape victim.
    When I finally opened the bathroom door, Scooter was gone. My heart dropped. Then, I heard him walking up the steps. He walked into the bathroom to join me.
    He stretched. “I’m on vacation. I’m not supposed to be getting up this early.”
    I rolled my eyes. “Well, somebody thought you should be up this early.”
    â€œYou know how it is.”
    I gave him a puzzled look, and replied, “No, I don’t know how it is.”
    He kissed my cheek. “Tay-Bae, you’re a trip.”
    I closed my eyes, breathed deeply and rummaged up enough courage to ask, “Scooter, where do we go from here?”
    He answered with a question. “Did you enjoy being with me last night?”
    Like a dummy, I nodded. He said, “Well, that’s all that matters. I enjoyed myself too.”
    â€œScooter, why did you call me?”
    He took a deep breath and didn’t answer. I was pressured to ask everything before we parted. “You said that you didn’t want to risk what you had. Why did you call?”
    He