Read Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life for Free Online

day to enter the avant-garde art competition, and I have to take my entry form down to the office. I’ll meet you at my locker. Okay, hon?”
     
    Then Jessica stared at me and said really loud, “Mac, I just KNOW you’re going to win first place. Your fashion illustrations are SO um…BOOTYLICIOUS!”
     
    I could NOT believe Jessica said that, because “bootylicious” is like so yesterday!
     
    But the thing that really freaked me out was when MacKenzie smirked at me and was all like, “Nikki, everyone in the entire school knows you’re too CHICKEN to enter the art competition because I’M a better artist than you are. So don’t bother!”
     
    Okay. Even though MacKenzie didn’t actually SAY those words to me, she definitely looked like she was THINKING them.
     
    And, either way, it was a humongous INSULT to my integrity.
     
    Then she flipped her hair and sashayed out of the classroom. I just HATE it when MacKenzie sashays!
     
    How DARE she talk about the art competition right to my face like that??!!
     
    Especially when it was HER fault I DIDN’T enter to begin with.
     
    This whole situation just TICKED me off!
     
    Suddenly, I just totally lost it and screamed at the top of my lungs, “MacKenzie STARTED this WAR, and now I’M going to FINISH it!!”
     
    But I said it in my head, so no one else heard it but me.
     
    Then I made a solemn promise to myself:
     
    I, NIKKI J. MAXWELL, being of sound mind and body, am officially entering the AVANT-GARDE ART COMPETITION!!
     
    I was going to show MacKenzie once and for all that I had MAD art skillz. And MINE were WAY MADDER than HERS!
     
    So I grabbed all my stuff and marched right down to the office to fill out an entry form.
     
    Sure enough, MacKenzie was still in there, applyingher fourteenth layer of lip gloss and bragging nonstop about her fashion illustrations.
     
    “…and everyone thinks my original designs are so HAWT, and I’m going to be RICH and FAMOUS and move to HOLLYWOOD and blah-blah, blah-blah, blah-blah, blah!”
     
    I was just casually chilling out behind a big plotted plant right outside the office door, minding my own business, when, finally , MacKenzie left.
     
    But it was NOT like
     
    I was spying on her or anything.
     
    I just didn’t want to attract a lot of attention to myself or have MacKenzie think I was making a big deal out of the fact that I was entering the competition.

    Although, to be honest, it WAS a big deal.
     
    It was THE most important thing I had EVER attempted in my entire fourteen years of life here on planet Earth.
     
    I rushed into the office and quickly filled out an entry form.
     
    As I handed it to the assistant, I felt a rush of panic, excitement, and nausea, all mixed up together whirling around in my stomach like leftovers in a garbage disposal.
     
    I walked out of the office and collapsed against the wall.
     
    My heart was pounding so hard, I could hear it in my ears. I began to wonder if this whole thing was a big mistake.
     
    Then, out of the blue, I got a really creepy feeling that someone was watching me, even though the halls seemed empty.
     
    Suddenly, a leaf on the plant I had hid behind moved, and I saw this EYE staring out at me! Then two eyes. Very icy blue ones.

    MacKenzie (YES, the MacKenzie) was peeping out at me from behind that big potted plant near the office door!
     
    SHE WAS LIKE, SO BUSTED!
     
    Finally, MacKenzie climbed out of the plant and sashayed over to the drinking fountain like she was thirsty or something. But it was very obvious to me that she was just trying to use WATER TORTURE to FORCE me to change my mind about entering the art competition.

    MacKenzie tried to act all innocent and apologetic, like the whole squirting me with water thing was just an accident. But I looked into her beady little eyes and could tell she absolutely meant to do it.
     
    I still could not get over the fact that I had actually caught her SPYING on me!
     
    Which kind of made me