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Tamara didn’t want to lose herself, she went, leaving father and daughter in the lurch.
    David was disappointed, David was furious, but he said he understood and accepted Tamara’s decision. He assumed custody on the condition that Tamara gave him the chance of a new start. He didn’t want any half measures. He wanted Tamara completely and totally, or else she was to disappear completely from his life.
    And that was how Tamara became a ghost.
    That same year David married another woman, they started a family, and Jenni got a new mother. For a year Tamara was fine with that, a second year began, and then everything happened as she had been warned it would. By girlfriends, by her family. A painful longing for Jenni exploded inside her. She started to doubt her decision, she started to burn with yearning.
    David didn’t want to know anything about Tamara’s change of heart. He said the door was closed now, and would stay closed.
    It hurts Tamara when people talk about Jenni. And for this reason she stays out of Kris’s way, because Kris is of the opinion that Tamara should do something about her yearning. He thinks that Jenni belongs with her mother. Regardless of what David has to say on the matter.
    “Whatever the two of you agreed on,” he said on New Year’s Eve, “is completely worthless. You are and remain her mother. It gets on my nerves the way you run around the place suffering. Pull yourself together, damn it. Everybody makes mistakes. You have to stand by your daughter. No ifs or buts.”
    Everyone makes mistakes
.
    Tamara understood all that. She gets more advice from all sides than she can deal with. And yet she doesn’t want to meet her daughter. Because what if that feeling of estrangement came back one day? Who’s to say that Tamara wouldn’t take flight again after two days by her daughter’s side? There are no guarantees. Tamara would give anything for a few guarantees.
    That’s almost it. You’ve met nearly all of them now. Kris and Frauke and Tamara. The fourth member of the confederation is missing. His name is Wolf. He will be the only one that you will meet personally, for just a moment, which is a shame because he’s like you. You’d have got along. You both walk through life feeling guilty. The big difference is that Wolf is wrong to feel his guilt, while you are completely aware of your responsibility, which is why you’re slowly going mad.
    At the moment Wolf is less than thirty yards away from Frauke and Tamara. He is holding a stack of books in his arms, and even though he would never admit it, he’d be really glad for a bit of company.
    Let’s not keep him waiting.
WOLF
    F OR A WHILE W OLF drove a truck. Out in the early morning to the central market, then delivering to the fruit stalls and the little neighborhood grocery stores. After that came a phase in which he did the rounds for various record labels, distributing promo CDs to the shops. That wasn’t the right thing either. But he does enjoy selling books outside the university. There are nice female students, who like to haggleand go for coffee. Otherwise, Wolf is in the fresh air and can read as long as nothing is going on. He gets most of the books from Hugendubel or Wohlthat. Today it’s Woolworth’s turn.
    Wolf is one of those writer types who only venture into writing very cautiously. He says he’s collecting experiences, but in fact he uses that to hide the fact that he isn’t sure what story he has to tell. His first great novel is waiting to be written. Short stories and poems are his bridge to that dream.
    Since waking up Wolf has had a brilliant dialogue going on in his head, he just wants to buy this last stack of books before sitting down in a café and putting the words in order. He doesn’t know that his course has been predetermined.
    On the way to the registers he sees Frauke.
    Wolf is about to duck. He has nothing against Frauke, in fact he makes a lot of time for her, they mail one another, they