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house and the nice sports car I saw on the TV commercial, I think you know which one I’m talking about. Also for Barbie, she needs one last thing; these amazing new heels I saw last week in the store, they’re blue and sparkly and they should fit her just right!! As for me, I need a lot of things as well. I saw this really cute doll that I fell in love with. She had blue eyes just like me, and she also had long brown hair just like me too. Her name was Dress-Me-Up DeeDee and I saw her in the doll section of Toys R’ Us. DeeDee is going to need some new clothes just like Barbie, except I hope they have some in a bigger size. DeeDee is going to need a new pink shirt, as well as some black shorts so she can match me when we decide to dress together. After DeeDee, I would like to get a friend for her to play with, so
when she’s home alone she doesn’t get lonely. I found her friend in the same place as DeeDee, and her name is Julia. She looks just like DeeDee, except she has green eyes and blonde hair. I think Julia is going to want some new clothes too, so if you could bring her some, any kind you like, that would be cool.
    Santa, I know this is a lot to ask for, but I believe that you can bring me all these things without thinking I’m greedy. I’m really not, even though my mom tells me I’m spoiled all the time. For the last of my presents, I would like my ears pierced. My mom always tells my I’m too young, but 9 isn’t that young, all my friends have their ear’s pierced and it’s not fair! I think I should be allowed to especially since Natalie, my best friend at school, has two holes in each ear! Maybe you can take me without telling my mom, and then she’ll have to let me keep them once they’re in my ear! Natalie is just like me, we almost have the same exact things, except she has a little more than me, but its okay because we share most of our stuff anyway.
    The very last thing I want for Christmas Santa, is a new bike to ride in the spring and summer. I want this yellow and green bike I saw also in Toys R’ Us, dad knows what it looks like so he can tell you all about it. I can’t wait to show it off to all my friends, I’ve never seen anything like it anywhere,
    My friends will think I’m the coolest kid they’ve ever known.
    Anyway Santa, I hope I get everything I ask for because in the past, I know you’ve always been faithful to me. If you can’t get everything, then I understand, I know you have a billion and one kids to get things for anyway. I love you, Santa.
    Love Always,
Cate F.

    Dear Cate,
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    You are greedy. You are spoiled. And your friend Natalie is a tramp. Yet you’re only a tenth of the torture you’re going to be to others when you get older.
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    I shudder to think,
    SANTA

Dear Mr. Santa,
    I know there’s lots of other girls named krystal in the world so I think you got confused and gave me a Barbie when I asked for a Bratz doll. Can you switch them please?
    Thanks,
krystal

    Dear Krystal,
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    That was no mistake. Despite what I think of Barbie and the message she sends to girls (and a few odd boys) it pales in comparison to what I think of the Bratz. These nasty, repugnant dolls are nothing less than the heralds of the end of civilization as we know it. You know what it says when a little girl says she wants a Barbie? She’s saying she wants to be sweet, wholesome, and impossibly slim, and be loved by a pretty but androgynous boy. When a girl tells me she wants a Bratz doll, it tells me she wants to grow up to be an ignorant whore who will use sex to manipulate any man she comes in contact with.
    Mrs. Claus doesn’t need any additional support.
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    Stick with Barbie,
    SANTA

Santa,
    What’s does ho mean? I heard it in a song and I thought you’d know because you say it a lot.
    Sincerely,
Franck, 9

    Dear Franck,
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    I’m sorry.