Read Restore Your Marriage & Fall in Love Again for Free Online

him/her often. Whether in words or in writing, I will affirm _____.
     
    I will express appreciation and respect to my spouse by affirming him/her often and acknowledging his/her good qualities.
     
     
    PUT IT INTO PRACTICE
     
    Read through the following list of positive characteristics and pick three that most closely describe your partner. Take turns and share the qualities you have chosen and why you have chosen them. Throughout the week, make a conscious effort to affirm your partner.*
     
    Following is a list of a few positive characteristics that may describe your partner (be sure to add some of your own that may not be on this list).
     
    THOUGHTFUL
SWEET
UNDERSTANDING
BEAUTIFUL
BRAVE
TRUSTWORTHY
POWERFUL
GENTLE
NURTURING
PRACTICAL
STABLE
OPTIMISITIC
A GREAT FRIEND
CREATIVE
IMAGINATIVE
CONSIDERATE
FUN
LOVING
COURAGEOUS
HONEST
SENSITIVE
DISCERNING
INTELLIGENT
INTERESTING
GENEROUS
GRACIOUS
EXPRESSIVE
ENERGETIC
STRONG
SUPPORTIVE
JOYFUL
OPTIMISTIC
HOPEFUL
TALENTED
CONFIDENT
CALM
FLEXIBLE
PRACTICAL
WISE
RELIABLE
AFFECTIONATE
LOYAL
PLAYLFUL
FUN
EXCITING
UNIQUE
SPECIAL
CARING
FUNNY
ORGANIZED
ADVENTUROUS
WARM
ACCEPTING
SMART
CHEERFUL
ENCOURAGING
ROMANTIC
SEXY
BOLD
AGREEABLE
SUPPORTIVE
AMBITIOUS
CHARISMATIC
HELPFUL
SPIRITUAL
LOGICAL
DEDICATED
TOLERANT
IMAGINATIVE
PEACEFUL
CHARMING
PATIENT
     
    * Free downloadable pdf is available for PUT IT INTO PRACTICE exercise 9. To access click here and enter password (found in the Resources section at the end of this book).
     
    THINK ABOUT IT
     
    I can live for two months on a good compliment. ~Mark Twain
     
    Nothing makes people so worthy of compliments as receiving them. One is more delightful for being told one is delightful -- just as one is more angry for being told one is angry. ~Katherine Gerould
     
    Everybody likes a compliment. ~Abraham Lincoln
     
    Men prefer brief praise, pitched high; women are satisfied with praise in a lower key, just so it goes on and on. ~Mignon McLaughlin

RELATIONSHIP BUILDER TEN
     

Pay Attention and Express Interest
     
    Did you ever talk to your spouse and think that he or she heard you, but was not really paying attention to what you were saying? There was once a funny commercial that comes to mind. A woman walks in a room and asks her husband if the dress she just put on makes her look fat. He is so engulfed in the television that he responds to her with “you betchya.” He thought being agreeable would answer her question, but instead it revealed that he was not being attentive to her. Obviously, she was not too happy with his response and he had to find another place to spend the night.
     
    There are so many distractions that can divide our attention. We may be having a conversation and at the same time check email messages, reply to a text message, flip through television channels, listen to the radio, look through a magazine or newspaper, go through the mail, and so forth. Our minds can easily wander if we do not make a concentrated effort to stay focused, listen and respond with both our hearts and minds. We may start daydreaming or thinking about what to eat or what is on our agenda for tomorrow.
     
    We know the importance of giving our undivided attention to someone from our school days. It always seemed that teachers favored the students that hung on their every word, raised their hands often, and looked right at them as they instructed the class. It is not that these teachers were so impressed with how smart these kids were as much as it demonstrated interest and engagement with their teaching.
     
    Everyone not only wants to be heard, but everyone wants to be interesting enough that others will pay attention to them. We like people who find us interesting. And, we know when they do. They pay attention to us. They are engaged in what we are saying. They maintain good eye contact, nod their head, and ask questions. When we do these things, we show our partners that we are genuinely interested in them and what they have to